It's the Age I Tell You

While having my daily with Kris, I all of a sudden remembered that today was September 1. The day I was to report for jury duty at 8 a.m.? It was now 12:35 p.m.?

Kris and I have this policy of "no questions asked" when one of us says "I have to go now." We simply hang-up and wait for the explanation knowing it will come. After throwing the phone to the counter, I frantically dug through the bills, magazines, and other paper products looking for the simple little letter telling me what I needed to do. Finding nothing (but making a rather untidy new set of piles on the floor), I decided to call the county courthouse. The assistant who answered the phone laughed as she transferred the call to the jury woman (forgive my ignorance of her proper title). Lauri was nice and calm. Just what I needed as I realized that with my new hair color (see the very bottom of the sidebar), orange is not very complimentary and the fine would definitely put a damper on my spa weekend plans with Eddie(a female and my college roommate one of my best friends).

She looked up my name. I thought my heart and lungs would pop right out of my chest. It took a minute to find the pool number to which I had been assigned. The waiting was damaging my cardio-pulmonary system. When she said that today was, indeed the day I had been expected, I nearly fainted. Sensing the nearness of my extinction, she quickly followed up with the message that the case had been settled and my presence no longer desired. I expelled a poisionous amount of carbon dioxide and slumped against the door. You see, I was hiding in the garage; hiding from my children who I had so gently educated about my privilege to serve my fellow countrymen. I momentarily forgot the phone in my hand until the ever patient Lauri asked if I was still there. I thanked God and Lauri aloud and hung up.

I called Kris back and explained that the color clash of hair and jumpsuit was no longer a concern and that the weekend with Eddie was still on as no donation to the county would be required of my wallet.

Can you say.... Whew!