I wrote this down and sent it to him. It was "our" assurance that no matter the outcome of the war, God was most assuredly looking after my husband, the friend of my friends; the Lover of My Soul was keeping the lover of my heart and body.

He did return home to me in April 1991. This time only my womb was swollen with the consummation of our love and commitment to one another. E became the assurance of God's desire for us to be together. The men had to stand in formation for a few minutes before being released to the bosoms of their loved ones. I stared at R, taking in his handsome face, tanned from the desert sun; his strong back that served him well in leading his men; his hands that honorably folded in prayer and around his weapon in defense of other Marines and in offense at eliminating the enemy; his legs that humped many miles for the freedom of the Kuwaiti people; his feet that he proudly stood on, walked on, ran on in desert sand and humbly shod with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My heart was briefly impregnated again with faith, hope, love, and immeasureable gratitude to God that not only would I have the man I loved home again with me, but that we would be privileged together to bring up the child that was wiggling in my body- the fruit our love. I determined then that our child would know the story of her father's bravery and integrity, along with all those who honorably serve the United States and have and will continue to procur the freedom of this country and to defend the defenseless.

My soul grieves for those who are not greeted by the smile and embrace of their son; daughter; wife; husband; aunt; uncle; cousin; mother; father. Please continue to pray for the families who must bury their loved one. I pray also that they hold the assuring comfort of an eternal reunion someday.

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That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Truly.

by Nee on May 3, 2004 10:42 AM

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Thank you, Nee :) By the way, pretty pic on Technorati :)

by Rae on May 3, 2004 03:55 PM

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Remember the fine young men who die for you. They are the same ones who sweated and trained together in preparation for all of this and anything else that comes. Remember them, the young men from all over this land that are different than the rest. The ones who take the hard way. They know pain and discormfort well. They run when others walk or ride. They do without. They float on ship in every major sea in battalion strength every day of every year so they can land and defend you and any in need all over the world. They shoot straighter, they work harder, they are the few. They are the best. They are Marine Corps Infantry.

by R on May 3, 2004 10:27 PM

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I have started my day by reading this wonderfull story. It gives me such a wonderful feeling inside. Thank you. Jim

by JT_Hunter on May 4, 2004 04:27 AM

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Hi, JT. Welcome :)

Thank you. I am so glad that something I wrote made your day start out so pleasantly. And please come back often.

by Rae on May 6, 2004 09:28 AM

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I encouraged R to do this, too. I asked if he would like for me to pray with him? "No, but thank you." So, he spent sometime last night praying for Dave and his unit; his family; the Marine's families. R understands the tight stitches sewn between the ventricles of family and duty as he served in Gulf War I. He, too, was separated from his family in service to his country and the people of Kuwait.

This afternoon I was driving and listening to NPR. They played a spot from the BBC News announcing that Marines in Fallujah had been involved in a two hour battle when terroists set up in a Mosque attacked them with anti-aircraft. One Marine was reported to have lost his life in the fighting and eight were wounded. Immediately my thoughts went to Dave. I hoped and pleaded with God for his life and then prayed for comfort for the fallen Marine's family, whoever he was. I then remebered last nights incident. Then recalling the time difference, I began to wonder the exact time of the attack.

Checking the Baghdad time, I was able to calculate that there is an 11 hour difference between my local time and Baghdad. The fighting took place shortly before noon (Baghdad time). If I count back 11 hours, from just before noon, I have midnight our time- only an hour earlier R was feeling restless.

I'd like to think that even if Dave wasn't engaged in the action today, that R's prayers weren't for naught. Marines in Fallujah benefitted from a brother submitting himself to the conviction of God to pray for them. God does, indeed, work in mysterious ways.

Dave, Marines, Airmen, Soldiers, and Sailors, we haven't and we won't stop praying for you.

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I am ruined for life but I wouldn't trade it for almost anything. In support of this post I have comment. Dave is a brother-in-arms. I am nervous and have daily feelings of guilt. I am a trained infantryman and I am not there with my Marines. It pains me. I know that only the Few or those close to them can understand. I am very proud to know one of the best Marines that there is (Dave)and know he is capable to crush the enemy along with the other young Marines that are there with Him.

by R on April 26, 2004 08:26 PM

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That's what we call a Godincidence.

by Patrick on April 27, 2004 03:56 PM

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Good word, Patrick- will be using it in the future.

R- I am forever grateful for your service to our country and in relieving the Kuwati people from Sadaam's tyrany. You have taught me much about the sacrifices made for the wearing of the uniform. Thank you and I love you.

by Rae on April 27, 2004 06:21 PM

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We just found out that our son-in-law, who's currently in Japan will be going to Iraq. (The word is: Not IF, when.) *sigh* My daughter is sanguine about it, but there's a newborn baby in their house and -- well -- it's my job to worry.

It's what I do best.

*sigh*
(Thus the tiny, minor nervous breakdown.)

by Emma on April 27, 2004 09:21 PM

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Oh, Emma! Yes, I'll worry with you for her.

by Rae on April 27, 2004 10:34 PM

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Clarification: You and I can worry in place of your daughter. There, better said.

by Rae on April 27, 2004 10:35 PM

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Last summer, Sue graciously invited us to her home as we were planning a visit to her area. We accepted. She was the perfect hostess- the guest house was stocked with sodas, bottled water, snacks of every variety, fresh fruit, clean sheets, and a hot shower. It was the end of July and the weather was dreamy. The ocean breeze kissed your shoulders like a sleepy-eyed lover and then wrapped itself around you comfortingly. We slept with the windows and the large sliding-glass doors open. Their Newfoundland positioned himself between us and the world and we slept soundly. In the morning we arose to freshly brewed Starbuck's coffee and a Mocha for me. She took R on a two mile run and not only kept the pace, but had a complete conversation-this was impressive to R. We had pizza and Margaritas one night. We hit the beach and body surfed and dug and watched little sand crabs furiously bury themselves after we rudely turned them over. We shopped and had delicious fish tacos and shrimp burritos. Our kids played together.

She had an early appointment to keep the morning we left, but she hugged us good-bye and left the home to us.

Several months later, through e-mail, we found out that Dave was returning home. His family welcomed him back to the states; their arms. They celebrated his safe arrival (in several time zones) and his commendable tour of duty. His family was finally removed from the iron lung in which they had been encapsulated since his departure.

He went on a hunting/fishing trip (maybe several); he returned to his office; the love of his wife's arms; the adoration of his children's hearts; to the relief of his clients. He did not terminate his service in the Reserves. Obedience to his oath and to his conviction of helping a country of people, so abused by one who should have lived to serve them rather than himself, was strong; fortified even more so by his tour. He loves his God and trusts Him to deliver divine justice to the Iraqi people, perhaps even through the faith and service of one Marine. He loves his family, and trusts their prayers and support to be the strength in his legs. He loves his country, and trusts the people of it to stand behind him in his service to them. He loves his Marine Corps and trusts his brothers to walk with him into the battle prepared and trustworthy; ready to defend him, their commrades, and to complete the mission honorably and completely.

Dave was asked to go back. He did. So, at the risk of appearing scurrilous, I say to all the whining liberals: go home, eat, sleep well and remember who makes it possible. It isn't you, your dead bolts, or your security system. It is the men and women in service to the this country and their desire to see others sleep in their beds unafraid and awaken alive in them in the morning.

Thank you, Dave, and the coffee is on its way.

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The only reason I can say this is because I know that I will be either a. dead and unable to see anything pass between them or b. dead and "perfected" thus eliminating my jealous heart. I know that if a sweet, young woman saw R and our four daughters alone, she could not resist her heart. She would take pity on them and fall in love with him and our daughters. He protests that once she found out he would be unable to provide the necessary ingredients for conception of their own child, she would abandon them. I redirected his thoughts to modern technology: an extraction method would allay her fears and down the isle they would go. He might even get to wear a tux at his own wedding! Having been married in Onslow County, Jacksonville, N.C. (all you sleuths can go figure out the details to that mysterious method of matrimony) in December 1990, we wore our Sunday best before a Magistrate and our parents. So, he never donned the black and white for his own vows, although he did for many of his friends.

My only requirement is that the girls accept her and approve the union. He agreed and so did they.

Should R meet His maker before I do, I know that I could never remarry. It isn't that I wouldn't want to. I do not doubt my ability to love and know that while awkward, I could again become intimately involved with someone again. I don't know that I could ever trust another man not my daughter's father. I simply could not believe that he wouldn't hurt them in some way. Shallow? Maybe. Lacking faith? Yes. Besides, I cannot help but think that men would look at five women as more of a liablity than an asset. This thought is much of the fuel behind my desire to finish my degree in Literature. I want to get my Master's and teach at a community college/smaller college. I desire to remove any financial dependence. It would make someone less socio-econmically desirable. If I can do what he could, then I wouldn't need "him" so much. Replacing the intimacy of a relationship with a fat bank account and benefits won't completely satisfy me, but it will remove a bit of the hunger. If I think things through in anticipation of a forthcoming or possible event, I am more resolute in my action. I know myself and while I may desperately love a man, I could never trust him. So, in order to not hurt another, I will altogether avoid it.

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1)Being a wife (not just a companion-just as I count on R to bring home the bacon *can't help but to snicker here as he is in the swine production business* he expects me to fry it up in the pan) to my husband. See, he has some responsiblities, too. But wait, working to support six people isn't too hard, is it? It seems like women these days want to bitch about everything their husband isn't doing, but can he point to some areas of "Wifedom" that need improvement? Uh-uh! No sir! Can't touch that!

Please, I am not saying that men aren't sometimes jerks (go through my archives), but why is that a woman can call a man an ass for leaving his boxers on the floor, but he can't say a word about her bras hanging on the doorknob? I think feminism has gone beyond saying firmly, but nicely, "Equal Pay for Equal Work" to saying "We can say anything we want about men because we have so suffered simply because we are women." My husband is a white male. Right now that is the most maligned, stereotyped character in media. He's baaaaaaad because he is white and male. It's been easy for him- right? He has had it all handed to him on a silver platter, right?

So, I took my vows, and for better (sorry you don't get all the details) or for worse (nor those), I am R's wife and he is my husband; we are each other's best friends, but we have obligations in our roles and friendship. It isn't a perfect union, but it is a committed one.

2)Being a mother. Wait, not just a mom, but a "stay-at-home-mom." I have always hated that phrase. I know that some women really do have to work to put food on the table (my mom was one of them) and to shelter their families. But, there are women who claim to work for necessity of provision, while really doing so for "personal satisfaction." What's wrong with that? Nothing. But just say so. Don't pretend that if you didn't make your six figures you wouldn't be able to eat. Just say, "I work because I like having nice things. I want a house in this section of town. I like working because it gets me away from the children. I work because I feel like I am using my mind when I do." I can respect that, even if I disagree with your personal choices, because it's honesty. Hiding pretentiously behind the curtain of women working hard to make sure their children have clothes is, in truth, despicable.

So, I chose to not put my child in daycare. I chose instead to live (not so succesfully, a times) within the means of whatever R made. That meant that the only Baby Gap on my girls backs was from the yearly city-wide garage sale. That meant that we had used cars and my wonderful personal gearhead tuned and mechanic-ed and they never broke down. That meant that yellow-labeled cans were a staple on my shelf. R always made me proud when he would say, "I may not drive the newest car on the block, but I sure do eat well." For a long time we rented a home and had "college furniture" well past our college days. I nursed my babies because I was convicted it was the best thing for them, but it helped that it saved money, too. I used cloth diapers and line-dried them. That saved on store-bought diapers and electricity. I still miss hanging a load of fresh clean diapers in the sun and seeing them blowing like flags announcing the innocence within the household. I am not better, but I can look back and be very content with my choices. I have no regrets. While I didn't live high on the hog, the point is that I lived. It wasn't easy. I sometimes hated aspects of it. I came from well-to-do and this was challenging, but I was determined to do what was best, not the most convenient. I am not saying that women who do it just like I did are better, or that the women who didn't are worse, I am just saying that the best things to do aren't always the most fun or the ones that make our lives "easier." I don't think that it's the government's job to help anyone with childcare. I had these kids and it's my responsiblity to care for them- employed or otherwise.

3)Home educating. Yes, this is a touchy one. First, I am not a Homeschool Nazi. I think that the masses are generally going to be publically educated, but I think it is for the state to govern, not the federal government. No, I don't have any more patience than the next woman (ask my children- sometimes mommy is grumpy). But when you know in your heart and head that something is right to do, you do it. No, we don't make a million bucks. We do o.k. Again, I don't drive the newest car on the block and not doing so allows money to purchase curriculum. My girls are darn smart. It makes me quite proud to know that not only did I contribute genetically (nature) but I also teach them myself (nurture). They aren't perfect and neither am I, but we really know each other and I can guarantee that they will walk away from this home prepared to be thinking, active citizens that are positively engaged with their families, communities, and nation. It isn't any easier than anything anyone else does. Some days I love it; some days I wish they were all going to public school so that I could have a day to sew or blog or read.

What prompted all these thoughts? Myrna Blyth's terrific new book Spin Sisters: How the Women of the Media Sell Unhappiness and Liberalism to the Women of America. And I quote: "Blyth persuasively argues that today's media bombards American women- the most prosperous, healthiest, well-educated, and privileged group of women ever- with constant messages of unhappiness and victimization. And that these effectively crafted messages also push and promote a liberal political agenda that the Spin Sisters share." She and Caitlin Flanagan are some of my favorite people to read. They don't pick sides in the issue of whether or not to stay at home or seek employment; rather, they admonish women to buck-up and shut-up about the choices they do make. And stop blaming the men and start communicating honestly and considerately with them (just the way you wish to be communicated with).

Tirade passed; none forecasted again in the near future.

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Great post, Rae. As usual. :)

by Natalie on April 15, 2004 09:00 PM

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Very nicely done. It's trite but I knew my life changed the moment my squalling children were placed in my arms. I thought to myself: "You'll never take another step without thinking how that might affect him. Ever again."

Thank you for reminding me. I have to go hug my babies right now.

by Emma on April 15, 2004 09:37 PM

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First time comments. Actually she drives a white 94 Chevy Astro Van with 167,537 miles on it and does not complain. I love her very much and just happens to be good at whatever she wants to be good at. I applaud this post. It is brave and may draw fire. Together we set the bar high and it has paid off. We are not the smartest people in the world. Our chldren are the smartest. They can grasp anything that we teach them or talk about, it is amazing. That is what is so great about Rae. She is the biggest part of making and molding something greater than either of us. I love her committment. I have been reading a while and thought this one was just right for me to chime in on. She is right it was hard starting out. Have you ever dug around for change between the car seats to get eggs or milk until the next payday? We did.

Rae-I know the obvious one, who is the other?

by R on April 15, 2004 10:08 PM

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Thanks, Natalie :)

Emma- I have been hoping you would stop by :)

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce, R, my terrific husband. *blush* Thank you, honey. I love you very much, too.

by Rae on April 15, 2004 10:59 PM

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I don't think any "stay at home moms" actually stay at home. Misnomer given to a thankless and neverending job, eh?

by Joe on April 16, 2004 02:36 AM

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Great blog Sister! Many people in this society,myself included, have developed a bit of this "blame someone else" disease. I find myself thinking "Well, if only he would have ....," or "If only my parents wouldn't have ...." That's not to say that there aren't times that we have been wronged, but if I just quit looking around at everyone else and trying to see what they are doing wrong or how what they're doing is effecting me, and blaming them for where I am or what I am doing, and accept responsiblity for my own life, I am more honest and more likely to make changes where they are needed. And then I will be more content with my life, as I will see it as My life. The one that I have (with God's help and mercy) created for myself. (I realize that there are circumstances that sometimes we honestly cannot do anything about, i.e. I am a black woman living in 1830 and I am a slave, but I am referring to life in America 2004 where our personal liberties seem nearly boundless.

by Kujo on April 16, 2004 06:20 AM

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Wonderful post.

by Ted on April 16, 2004 09:25 AM

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Rae, we have talk about this, great how you say it, have a good trip, I'll miss you.

by virginia on April 16, 2004 11:31 AM

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Rae,

You're a shining light. Your children are blessed. (Your husband, too.)

by Juliette on April 16, 2004 01:08 PM

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Excellent post, and a wonderful story. Not having had any children myself (yet), I have always had the utmost respect for women who choose to stay home to raise their children, and hope to do the same when that day comes for me.

I've heard about that book a couple of other times, but I think your post here has given me the push to go out and pick it up.

I applaud you, and the choices and sacrifices you've made to make a wonderful life for your family.

by Nee on April 16, 2004 02:37 PM

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Hooray! Very well put Rae! I can picture you behind the EIB microphone as a guest speaker!!

by Amy on April 18, 2004 09:54 PM

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I'm not sure if this is my first comment. I have visited before, on the recommendation of your friend Kris. Thanks for the straight up remarks!

Homeschooled kids have done great things as adults, and I believe yours will as well.

by Douglas on August 18, 2004 01:15 AM

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As I stated previously, I stayed awake until 2 A.M. in a cold bathroom to finish this tale that so captured my imagination. It was not until the last chapter that I realized it was a Cinderella chronicle. That's how incredibly creative Ms. Levine is. Ella is witty and intelligent. She is unpretentious and funny (self-depreciating humor always makes me laugh). Mandy (her godmother and house fairy) doesn't just stand by when Ella is given a humiliating command. She doesn't undo it; just redirects. Ella is frustrated by her father, but doesn't hate him. Lucinda is a benign, though idiotic, fairy who learns first hand the havoc her "blessings" cause. I love that Ella's wit and Char's strength free them from the Ogres. Time and again their personalities compliment one another. Yet, in the name of true love, Ella refuses Char in order to save not only him, but the kingdom of which she is so fond.

So, when I went to the movie last Friday, I had high hopes. Here was an opportunity to make a wonderful book into a wonderful movie; a movie from which young ladies could take inspiration and be entertained. While Anne Hathaway did make a fine Ella, the lines were poorly written and cliches were, well, things we had all heard somewhere before. This was to be a place we had never been but all recognized; not from cheesy lines, but from the universal struggle that all young women endure to know themselves, their fate; overcoming their greatest personal obstacles to get there. It once again became all about the girl getting the guy. That may be what sells but not to the women of this house.

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Okay, you've inspired me to finally go and buy the book since you are so passionate about it. Hopefully it does for me what it did for you!(I sound like the lady in the restaurant in Harry Met Sally who said she would have one of whatever Sally had just ordered after her fake orgasm scene...hehe.)

by kujo on April 12, 2004 05:18 PM

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Ooohh, one of my favorite scenes. Now that was a decent movie....

Yes, please read the book, KT. I know you will love it.

by Rae on April 12, 2004 06:35 PM

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I just added Ella Enchanted to my wishlist, Rae.

by Natalie on April 12, 2004 08:03 PM

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Ooooh, Natalie, you are gonna love it! She has some short stories that are really good, also. The Fairy's Mistake is one that I can think of right now that made me laugh out loud.

P.S. Tell Peter happy belated :)

by Rae on April 12, 2004 10:23 PM

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I once wrote an short story about Cinderella -- presented as an excerpt of her memoirs reprinted in a feminist literature anthology. She's fairly reclusive these days (the story went), divorced from her Hessian Prince and living with her second husband in upstate New York. But the memoir excerpt chronicles her high society Manhattan socialite days, the breakup of her first marriage, and her sessions with her psychoanalyst, who stubborly tries to reduce her problems to a series of fairly pedestrian psychsexual desires.

Can't find the damn thing, though.

by Jeff G on April 12, 2004 10:48 PM

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I just found a copy on eBay for $1.00, and since I had a few dollars in my PayPal account.... ;) Can't wait to read it!

by pam on April 13, 2004 06:43 AM

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Well, Jeff, when you do, I must add it to my collection...

by Rae on April 13, 2004 10:49 AM

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Hello - found you via Baldilocks (she needs to update her 'roll to your new house). I like it! I've always thought pink and gray look really good together.

I am disappointed to hear about Ella. I liked her in Princess Diaries (though as usual book better than screen).

I did like Ever After. Another version of "Cinder Soot".

Oh, and my middle name is Rae...

by GrumpyBunny on April 14, 2004 04:28 PM

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Hi! Thanks for stopping by :)

Yes, we own Ever After, too. It is one of our favorites.

You know, there are a lot of Raes out there. I think we should band together and start a "blogdom"-RaeBlogs, or something. Pam could make us a very cute button!

by Rae on April 14, 2004 05:00 PM

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1)My grandmother had only sisters.
2)She had only daughters.
3)Out of seven of her grandchildren, all but one are girls.
4)That one is my brother.
5)He was born when I was 11.
6)I call him my true first-born.
7)I have only daughters.
8)That means that in four generations, only one male has been born.
9)pretty unusual.
10)My brother is going to marry a girl who has only sisters.
11)I am an EXTP on the Meyers-Briggs Personality Test. X means that I score evenly on Sensing/Intuiting.
12)I like so many things, that I hate having to make a "favorite" list.
13)A few foods that I really enjoy though: Avocadoes, tomatoes, Romaine Lettuce, Guacamole, cold cucumbers, homemade croutons, any kind of bread, Whole Wheat Bagels crisply toasted spread thick with cream cheese, BBQ Ribs, anything BBQ, Prime Rib, Rib-Eye (all medium rare), Pork Loin, seafood (except squid-too squeaky), Thai, Chinese, Mexican, Italian, Argentinian, Cajun, French, Black olives, Green marinated olives, artichokes, marinated artichoke hearts, green grapes, Pink Lady Apples, juicy Navel oranges, watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, walnuts, pecans, and especially almonds, maraschino cherries, Milk Duds and Theater Popcorn and Junior Mints to cleanse the salty palate.
14)Drinks that quench my thirst: Water (I love water), Skim Milk, Starbuck's Breakfast Blend loaded with half-n-half, Iced-Tea grainy with sugar, orange juice, Draft Beer, Stephen's Hot Chocolate with Marshmallow cream on top (have to be in the mood for it though), hot tea, homemade lemonade, White Zin, Frozen Lime Margaritas, Coke & Diet Coke (Never Pepsi-ilk).
15)I love discussing and reading about politics, but hate writing about them.
16) I love cats, but only outside.
17)I will never own any other breed of dog than a Labrador Retriever.
18)I have a chocolate female now.
19)Her name is Tasha's Brown Sugar Cake, or Tasha for short.
20)I am a reformed Christian.
21)Definitely not a fundamentalist.
22)I enjoy all genres of music except country.
23)Well, the country of the last 20 years, that is.
24)I like Waylon Jennings, he is the only exception.
25)I was born in Oklahoma.
26)But moved to Missouri when I was 16.
27)I lived more years there than Oklahoma, so I consider it my home state.
28)Rae is my middle name.
29)To annoy my mother, I decided to go by it instead of my first name.
30)Which I shall not reveal.
31)I never met my real father, but have seen pictures.
32)I have his green eyes, broad shoulders, height, and feet.
33)I also have his introspective personality.
34)Everything else is just like my mother.
35)Which I used to loathe, but now accept, and rather like it.
36)I really enjoy foreign films.
37)but only with subtitles, never dubbed!
38)I hate living in Utah and will never look back once we leave.
39)I am trying to learn how to be positive about the whole experience.
40)But it is extremely challenging.
41)I met R on the first day of classes in the fall semester of 1988 at the University of Missouri-Columbia.
42)We didn't date for a few months, though, because I was a bit afraid of the chemistry that I felt between us.
43)He is the funniest man I have ever known. Really! Jim Carrey beat him to Hollywood.
44)With him, I laugh more than I breathe.
45)This has been instrumental in the healing of my soul from my horrific childhood.
46)I taught all of my children how to read.
47)They all read waaaaay above their grade level, and I am extremely proud that I have been instrumental in this.
48)I buy at least one new book a month.
49)I love children's literature.
50) The 500+ childrens books on our shelf attest to that.
51)I also like history, biography, philosphy, theology, and sometimes swerve into the dysfunctional fiction area, but only once in awhile.
52)I studied Literature, Photo Journalism, and Human Environmental Sciences in college.
53)I like Georgia O'Keefe (no, I don't see *that* in her pictures), and most of R.C. Gorman's work.
54) I have a huge print of his hanging over our bed, Laila with Child.
55)I loved nursing more than being pregnant.
56)Being pregnant wasn't so bad, just hard on me physically as I grew them big.
57)I always gained 50 pounds with each pregnancy.
58)But always lost it.
59)I spent 8 years in my twenties being pregnant or nursing.
60)I was once asked "Who did your b_ _bs?" in a Las Vegas Airport elevator.
61)"God," I replied.
62)"I am gonna pray harder," she said.
63)Gift giving and words of encouragement are my primary love languages.
64)I sometimes write poetry.
65)But never share it with anyone.
66)I love to sing, but not really in public.
67)I used to have a secret dream of becoming a singer/songwriter.
68)I love to make people laugh.
69)I only had braces for 9 months.
70)I really enjoy starting projects and coming up with ideas, but hate having to impliment them.
71)I am terrible with follow through.
72)But am improving.
73)I have never been terribly organized, but being the home educating mother of four has placed me in the position to at least try to be.
74)I love to cook and bake.
75)But also love to eat out.
76)My two closest girl-friends also have ambiguous names (Kris, Eddie).
77)I love flowers, all kinds.
78)When I read a word that I don't know the meaning of, I must look it up (thanks to R).
79)Thus, I have a well-worn dictionary next to my bed.
80)I always read while tubbing.
81)Simply by Clinque is my all-time favorite perfume.
82)I have a fantasy of living by the Pacific, on an island close to the mainland.
83)I love night.
84)I used to be a night owl, but rearing children has altered that.
85)I love sardonic humor.
86)I hate bad driving.
87)and rudeness.
88)My first car was a blue VW Dasher.
89)I received more tickets in my 20's (4) than in my 30's (0).
90)none of the tickets were deserved, of course.
91)I was only in one traffic accident, and I wasn't the one ticketed.
92)I always wear my seat belt.
93)I have ridden on a motorcycle once, and it was exhilarating.
94)My favorite seasons are Spring, Summer, and Fall.
95)I like winter only in theory.
96)My third toe on my left foot is longer than the other toes (except the big one, of course). You know, instead of the second one being the longest?
97)I once read that people who have this physical anomalie are creative and artistic.
98)R says someone with the third toe longer than the others said that.
99)I really do believe in Heaven; believe I am going there; and cannot wait to see my Savior face-to-face.

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87. You are still a night owl and shall always be a night owl. You have just altered your natural self a bit during this child raising time; (most of the time that is, and the times when you don't, you seriously regret.)

by kujo on May 10, 2004 10:15 PM

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Excellent! I really enjoyed reading these. You know, we are only about one year apart and I feel so immature and unaccomplished now.

On that note, these were my favorites by far!
63)I was once asked "Who did your b_ _bs?" in a Las Vegas Airport elevator.
64)"God," I replied.
65)"I am gonna pray harder," she said.

Can you describe the lady who said this? I have an image of her in my mind and I need to know if it fits.

by Patrick on May 10, 2004 11:52 PM

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She was forty-something, with a slight accent, visible make-up (as in not what I would consider complimentary)and dressed in clothes that seemed a bit too small for her and heels. She was friendly and seemed genuinely embarrassed when I told her they were my own.

by Rae on May 11, 2004 12:48 AM

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Yes, kujo, you know me only too well (which, of course, you know I love) :)

by Rae on May 11, 2004 12:50 AM

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Good to know so many things, easy for gifts!
Hey that means I'm not one of the closes? Y enjoyed reading all those things about you!

by virginia on May 11, 2004 11:06 AM

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Well, Virginia, of course, you are. I should have said, "My two girlfriends who have known me the longest (17 years, and 13 years)..." That is probably more accurate.

by Rae on May 11, 2004 12:17 PM

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Nice list. If I were to do a list like this, it would probably scare my few readers away for ever and ever...

PS--I know your first name. Heheh.

by zombyboy on May 11, 2004 03:11 PM

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Really now, Z. I doubt that.

Hey how do you know my first name? Oooooh, yes, I know how. It has been removed from this site, but was once present on my blog.

Thank you :)

by Rae on May 11, 2004 03:21 PM

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Even though I have know you for 20 years or so everytime I read one of your blogs I feel like I have just met you. Not only that it makes me want to read more about you. I love getting to know YOU!

by Sally on June 1, 2004 03:04 PM

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stumbled across your page, haven't looked through everything yet. However, the fact you hate living in Utah is a great thing, ha ha. I moved here six years ago from Kansas and I would LOVE to leave this state as well. Best of everything to you =o)

by Elizabeth on June 7, 2004 01:41 AM

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Looks like we have more in common that I originally thought.

by Genia on June 7, 2004 10:55 AM

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Genia, I think if more people focused on what they ahve in common with others, rather than the differences, there would be a lot more mercy and grace extended around the world :)

by Rae on June 14, 2004 12:12 PM

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hi rae, it's me, the girl your brother is going to marry (someday, hopefully by the time i'm 30!). you can call me Ann (my middle name) on the web. it makes it so much more secretive!
i finally got a chance to read some of your blog today. it's hard not having the internet at home and not much free time at work. the "a few things" insert helped me know more about you. i can't wait till we can acctually get to spend some real time together, as women and as sisters-in-law. wow, i've never said that before!
Anyways, i hope that you get this comment, i'm not sure where it's going! not to knowledgable about the blog world.
hope that we can converse over the web more! you can use my email too.
Ann

by Ann on June 30, 2004 11:09 AM

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Hey "Ann" (incognito is fun!)!

Everyone, the lovely young woman who is to be my fusture sister-in-law. My little brother wisely chose well.

Anytime you comment, it is posted here and then an e-mail of it is sent to me, as well.

Yes, come back often and get in my head-this really is the best way :)

by Rae on June 30, 2004 04:36 PM

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hi i found you blog throu trufflehuntes's blog i like your list of things about you. mine would be just as long and complicated i'm sure!
and i'm only 16 lol! maby i will do a list, someday Hmmmmmmm...

by thea on August 31, 2004 10:55 PM

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Rae;

Stopped in here after the heated discussion at Rosemary's place, partially to see who it was that wasn't taking the bait and entering the fray, but primarily because I have only met two other women named Rae. I married one, and the other is her mother.

You have a lovely site. Might you one day reconsider sharing your poetry? Anonymity makes it somewhat easier, from my own experience. If it's of any encouragement, I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

by Mr. E. on September 6, 2004 09:22 PM

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Rae,

This is Cindy from Everyday Thoughts Collected. I popped over to get acquainted and am utterly delighted with this list! The items themselves would be interesting enough to warrant attention, but the WAY you write them is just wonderful. What fun!

:::fully intending to look around lots more:::

by Cindy on September 8, 2004 10:07 AM

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For the first time, I am genuinely pleased with a blog from BE. I am sure there are others, but this is the first. Thanks for what you're doing.

by Greg on November 11, 2004 10:22 AM

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Greg- BE? I am a little confused?

by Rae on November 11, 2004 01:51 PM

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Rae,

Found your blog through a link from the Commissar. I've been in Utah for 5 years now. What's not to like?

by JimT on November 17, 2004 10:21 PM

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Oh, Jim, too much to list here. The scenery is beautiful, but man cannot live by site alone....

by Rae on November 20, 2004 11:52 PM

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Rae,
I followed a link here from I-don't-know-where, and after perusing, have added it to my "list". Will visit often, you're a smart cookie! And I'm with you, sister, we'll be seeing Him soon...

by Catshavestaff on December 10, 2004 07:19 PM

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C- thanks for your kind comments :) and come again often.

by Rae on December 12, 2004 01:50 AM

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Rae, I stumbled on this list while looking for your email addy (which I didn't find, so you must not want it out there). This is a great list!

Anyway, I was going to email you to say we have yet another thing in common...I noticed a post by you on Pro-Life Blogs right under a post from me....and we are both anti-abortion and against the death penalty. I don't run into many of those!

I have just thoroughly enjoyed your blog since discovering it. Keep up the great work!

by texasbug on January 20, 2005 08:08 PM

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Texasbug- I don't run into many of those either. Nice to know there is another person out there who favors consistency :D

Thanks so much! I really like your blog, too. :D

by Rae on January 20, 2005 08:41 PM

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Very cute list. You have me blogrolled under my old site name 'Spot On', now 'Alarming News', and you've got me in the male section, though I am female. :-)

by Karol on March 12, 2005 03:19 PM

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Karol, fixed :"D And thanks for coming by and commenting :D

by Rae on March 12, 2005 03:41 PM

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Hey, great blog!!! It's so feminine, but also says "don't mess with this chick!", lol

by Tanda on June 9, 2005 08:21 PM

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Rae,

just stumbled upon your blog through margi lowry's blog. must mention that i like it a lot, and will be visiting more often, and linking you under 'blog deities' on my site.

also, i chose the name amelie for my blogging nom de plume, but guess what family and friends call me ; )

by amelie on August 8, 2005 05:47 PM

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diabetic insulin diabetic supplies american diabetes association diabetes diet diabetic diet insulin pumps juvenile diabetes symptoms of diabetes diabetes equipment glucose meter syringes lifescan http://www.diabetic-care-supplies.com

by diabetic supplies on August 25, 2005 12:52 PM

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The boob thing is hilarious. I saw a bad boob job in the Los Vegas airport. I knew about saline and silicone. I had no idea they used helium.

by bigwhitehat on September 10, 2005 03:06 AM

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Very fun read. So r u in Utah now? (Sorry. Read most of it, but skimmed a few times, cause I'm REALLY supposed to be working now.)

Amazing how many people know their MB type. At least how many out of the people I like. I'm an ENTP, which might explain the instant affinity I felt.

At least I was. I've been wondering a long time about that T. Might be an F now. A friend scoffed when I said that, and insisted you never change.

Maybe not, but your perceptions of yourself do. I was trying to be a computer guy at the time, God help me. And hmmmmmm. Who says you don't ever change. I think that career brought out very different aspects of my personality.

So maybe I always had the possibilities buried inside me, but your personality is not your potential, it's what actually gets expressed, right? Expressed to others or expressed to you, but what becomes manifest, not just potential.

Wow, how did I get off on that? Doesn't take much. heeheehee.

Looking forward to reading more, though I'm so crappy about keeping up with blogs. Where is the time?

by Dave Cullen on October 12, 2005 12:40 PM

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I quickly scooped up any new books Ms. Levine penned. My particular favorites are the series of Fairy Tale short stories. Why are these books so appealing? Ms. Levine has the unique ability to rewrite our favorite tales without schtick. They really seem plausible. The girls are all the good things that make us like the story without hating the girl. She is nice, but not saccharin. She is polite, but throws a punch when needed. She wears a dress and rides a horse-not side-saddle. She loves her parents and struggles to understand them and have them understand her and most importantly, the guy doesn't save the gal; the gal doesn't save the guy. They work together to save each other. Which is real life and what I want my girls to understand about male/female relationships.

Gail Carson Levine made an appearence at the Missouri's Children's Literature Festival in 2002. Each year, kids who read all the Mark Twain books are rewarded with a trip to a state univeristy to meet prolific childrens literature authors and hear their stories of writing. When we signed up to attend, due to limited space, we had to rank our preferred authors. We got all of them but Gail. I couldn't stand it, so...I...ummm... you know... snuck my girls in anyway. It's not like we pushed other kids out. We just squeezed ourselves in. She seemed a bit overwhelmed by the kids, and as I had K with me (two at the time), I slipped out into the campus library, leaving my children under the supervision of a friend. I came back just in time for the book signing. We had six books. I recall that she appeared a tad bit annoyed that we kept handing her books to autograph. I couldn't figure out why, but was later informed by MFK whose husband is one of the best writers of today (and I daresay we will see him publically noted as such in our lifetime) that it is considerd a bit gauche to present so many works to be signed. It gives the idea of greed and inconsideration of the others attending the signing. So, I learned, but I kept buying her books and I will keep buying them. Some I don't like as well as others, but for the most part, she blows the competition away. She doesn't insult a girl's intelligence or ability, nor does she male bash.

Fast forward to today: I am happily frying flapjacks for my family's Good Friday Breakfast and get a call from MFK. She announces that she is going to see the film. I can't believe it! I have been trying to convince her to read these stories for years- this is my baby and she thinks she is going to see it without me? Without reading the book? Arrrggghhh! O.K. MFK laughs at my jealousy and points out that she is guilty of no infraction to our friendship and kindly reminds me that I am really annoyed that she knew about something before me. She is of course,...rrrrrr...ummm...O.K. I can do this; I can say this: RRRRiiiii! Right! There, I said it. She is correct. I wanted to know it before her and annouce it to her. I want to know all things and be queen of all knowledge to my friend. So, I accepted that she was right (I guess that I means I was wrrrrr; nevermind, we all know the word) and then quickly called my local theatres to find if it was playing here and HA! It is, so away we go. My friend is right and I get to see it, too! Yee-haw! All's well that ends well, right? Thank goodness for those that know us so well that they help us know ourselves.

« Hide the rest of Enchanted

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The site looks great now! Wow! And I am very interested to hear your comments about the movie my purist friend...

by kujo on April 10, 2004 10:28 AM

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Oh, you're very sweet! I'm happy that you like it. :)

I can't say that I've read any Gail Carson Levine, but I will now... ;)

by pam on April 10, 2004 11:36 AM

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Pam, I am not the only one who loves it! Everyone keeps telling me how great it looks :)

Start with Ella Enchanted. I am sure you will enjoy it.

K-honey, don't get me started! Can you say Cheese?

by Rae on April 10, 2004 11:21 PM

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Did someone say cheese?

I like the look.

by Mr Mouse on April 11, 2004 10:15 AM

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As usual, when entering a check out line, I put on all the goods on the belt and then scan the mags. I was pulled from my glossy reverie by a hacking cough. I turned to see the young lady blow every germ out of her mouth, onto her hand and then to my Pink Lady Apples, Diet Coke with Lime, and avocadoes. As I passed over the $5, I admonished her to cough into her shoulder and then extended my sleeve-covered hand to take the change. Silly me. I didn't think to disinfect the purchases. I shook my head all the way to the car and then twisted open the soda and slugged a big drink. My merciless repugnance is humbling me into kindess and less agression by way of sharing her misery. Funny how experiencing what we unjustly judge others for gives us better perspective....

« Hide the rest of Mercy Triumphs Over Judgement

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(I've been watching you and Ironbear banter for a while, just figured I'd drop in and see your new digs! And now I can see why Ironbear flirts with ya! *grin*)

I think that cashier needed to have someone admonish her. That was pretty gross.

Sorry you're sick! Drink lots of decaf mint tea with a LOT of honey in it--that usually works for me. I have to be careful with any medicines I take during a case of the respiratory crud--I have asthma and a lot of those cold medicines will bring on an attack, which makes the cold worse, which makes the asthma worse, ad infinitum... So I stick with the natural stuff as much as possible, and only take drugs when it gets too intolerable.

Nice to meet'cha, Rae--hope you feel better soon! :-)

--TwoDragons

by Denita TwoDragons on April 8, 2004 10:06 AM

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Just finished the edits on your sidebar... I clicked the link for the Quote of the Week... Hahaha... ROFLMAO!

by Madfish Willie on April 8, 2004 12:33 PM

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Your new pad rocks.

by Joe on April 8, 2004 10:42 PM

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Hey Rae, congratulations on the new place. It looks great!

by Patrick on April 8, 2004 11:32 PM

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Denita-the Mrs! So nice to meet you, too! Well, I wouldn't call it flirting, just being, ya know, really friendly :) Thanks for coming by and for the advice.

Bartender-omg'ness-anything she writes makes me loose it!

Ahhh, Joe and Patrick, thanks :)

by Rae on April 10, 2004 11:26 PM

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We lived in a rental waiting to find a home that we thought worth mortgaging thirty years of our lives. So, when we found it, closed, and set a moving date, I decided that I was never packing another box again. We could rent the truck, but I was by gosh gonna pay someone else to pack my life away. It was the best $600 I ever spent (and that has to be saying something for this confessed recovering materialist/Shopaholic). I took the girls to the bookstore, out to lunch, and then to the park and came home to 300 boxes neatly stacked and ready to roll out the door at 7 A.M. sharp.

I tell every woman I know who is going to move, "Let someone else take care of the packing." Pay for it if you must. It is far easier to bribe ten guys with beer and pizza to come and load a truck of pre-packed boxes than to attempt to poke, prod, cram, and jam yourself, your spouse, and any children into boxes.

The premise here? When you get to move for free, even better! No cost to pack; nothing for moving-one begins to think, why not? So, I am moving a likely story to mu.nu (Munuviana). I have longingly looked at the blog housing Movable Type offers: more space; interesting design; creative interiors. Blogger has been good, but it's time to move out of spec housing. So give me a few days to get everything set up over there. I will be sure to leave really good directions so that you can find me at my new digs. I look forward to the house warming party, you bring the comments and hits; I'll provide the whine, cheese and entertainment.

« Hide the rest of "Well we movin' on up..."

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Yay, or as Susie says, that is the normal welcomin' to munu! Glad ya joined us, Rae.

by notGeorge on April 4, 2004 08:55 PM

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Already changed your link on ye olde blogroll!

by Ith on April 5, 2004 05:36 PM

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You won't miss much about blogger. Hope you enjoy the new digs.

by King of Fools on April 8, 2004 03:47 AM

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hmmmm. Feel very uncertain here. Must acclimate to the new position of all the furniture and the new decor. You know how change takes a bit for me. I think I liked the banner with your pic and the the ditty right next to it a little better. (It was one of the other choices you had.) And I'm not sure about the one word on every other line business. (Or is that how all of the fashionable blogs are now and I am just out of it?) Feels like the area on the left ought to be a bit more narrow and on the right a little wider. And I think personally I like the writing section to be on the left better and the archives and all that on the right. I think it's something to do with reading from the left to right. I like the search my site thing. And I like the recent entries teasers. And of course your pic is stunning! Just my very insignificant two cents. Anyway, whatever it looks like, wherever it is, there shall I be avidly reading!

by kujo on April 8, 2004 01:14 PM

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I got all excited when I started reading your blog and you were talking about moving. My very concrete mind automatically went to...."What! She is moving back home and she hasn't told me yet I bet!" But I should have known after having lived with another abstract thinker for 12 years that you were just using a great illustration to make your point! Anyways, I can't wait to see the new place

by kujo on April 10, 2004 09:53 PM

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Is it ready yet? :)

by Natalie on April 10, 2004 09:55 PM

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and talking about it, I didn't say anything, I mean I was excited when my first child was born. When you had a fight on the deck so the step-children wouldn't hear, I understand. R and I take our "discussions" elsewhere sometimes, too, just not at two in the morning and with crashing Tequila bottles, but hey, you know....I know that a really good CD is great to crank, but we try to do it during the daylight, not midnight. I said nothing then because we all get a little excited about music sometimes. When the neighbor got a two week break from National Guard Officer training camp for Christmas and stayed outside talking on the phone in seemingly one-sided conversations until 3:30 in the morning, I didn't say anything, I mean, you know it was Christmas and he was getting a break from training for being a weekend warrior. Hey, R was one of those at one time, so I understand.

I have borne it well. I admit that I have entertained ideas of returning the
presents that the dog leaves (nicely packaged and tied around his neck, too). I
even gave the baby and mom a gift and congratulated them. I signed the card with wishes for them to "return to quiet nights again soon," but I think they thought I was speaking of the child sleeping through the night, not themselves as they laughed sweetly and put the card in the gift bag. I thought about purchasing Muzak and placing it outside at 6 A.M. to give them a bit of atmosphere with their hangover, er, coffee. But I think it gets bad when one beautiful Saturday afternoon, I step out back to chat with R while he installs a steering column (a bit o' quality time) and hearing the neighbor's voice over the fence, I cringe. I freeze and all my muscles become tense; my jaw is clenched and my fists are closed tight and I have difficulty breathing. I just can't stand to hear that voice anymore. It signifies lack of sleep due to hearing all the stuff a
neighbor just shouldn't hear directly from their neighbor's lips, speakers, or
see coming from their dog.

So, tonight, another night when I was so looking forward to sleep- I am really tired, really tired, O.K? Did you have to have a two hour conversation on the deck about all the ways to get grass on your lawn? I closed the window. I could still hear you. I went away for an hour- you were still on the phone ("sod vs. hydroseeding"). I put towels around the window sill; still I could hear you. Stop talking! Go inside!I....can't....take.....it....any.....longer..........SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

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I know what you are suffering...well, not really. But the Queen (may she live forever) is the lightest sleeper God ever created. Every noise, even minor movements by me and she is wide awake.

How do we make it? Ear plugs. And a really noisy fan. (Sometimes two fans, it if is July 4.)

by King of Fools on April 9, 2004 05:08 PM

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Your neighbors must be the Hoovers, because they suck.

by Joe on April 10, 2004 09:33 PM

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My boyfriend's upstairs neighbors have been unbearable since the day (literally) they moved in. Mind you, I take it all with a grain of salt since it's an apartment building but STILL. It's bad enough hearing the bed rattle agianst the wall during one of their many rowdy sessions, but do I have to HEAR the 'pet' names he calls her, as loud and clear as if he were yelling htem at ME?

I have taken it upon myself to go upstairs, regardless of the hour of morning, bedhead, pajamas, bad breath and all, and POUND on their door until they quiet down/turn down the stereo/quit shouting. Luckily for me, they're quite pleasant about it. But then each time she gets a NEW boyfriend (which is about every two weeks) I've gotta start all over again in 'training' them.

by Nee on April 10, 2004 09:34 PM

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Great idea about returning the dog's presents.

Nice blog you have here.

by The Commissar on April 10, 2004 09:36 PM

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Why, thank you, Commissar (Dar Commissar?).

I'm gonna take a little jaunt over to your place and take a look, too.

by Rae on April 10, 2004 09:36 PM

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Work nights, Rae... the entire neighborhood becomes your enemies.

by Doug Dever on April 10, 2004 09:38 PM

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My sympathies! I just don't understand people who can't keep their private lives 'private'. As for doggie presents, wrapping them up, putting them in a paper bag, setting fire to them at the neighbor's front door... ok, it's very 50's but isn't retro a Good Thing?

by Su on April 10, 2004 09:39 PM

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--Off Topic--

Ms Rae: I couldn't find an e-mail address for you - I'm sure I'm just blind - Drop me an e-mail, and I can outline what to do for the move to MuNuviana. we look forward to seeing you at your new digs!!!

by The Bartender on March 19, 2005 03:17 PM

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