June 30, 2003

I need Travel Trash for

I need Travel Trash
for my upcoming trip. I am heading back to the midwest for my 15 year class
reunion. I tried desperately not to obsess about myself this time. I
didn't...very much...not really. O.K. just a little bit. I think I look pretty
good for a 33 y/o who has endured the body stretching, brain draining, love
extracting experience of birthing four children and raising (rearing?) them.
It's the zits! I hate them! I took Doxycycline forever. I felt guilty the whole
time taking them because I know that long term anti-biotic use isn't too
healthy. I mean I don't want to die from some flimsy bacterial infection but
have great skin in the casket! I don't have zombs or anything (zit+bomb=zomb),
but am just not happy with the whole complexion thing. So, I recently started on
Septra. There is a cautionary statement with the script and after web research,
I am drinking tons of water (and peeing like a race horse) to insure that
crystalization doesn't occur in my bladder. But hey! I will have fabulous skin
for the reunion. It's one of those ironic situations. Like someone will say,
"Hey! Your face finally cleared up! It looks great!" Isn't the whole reason I am
taking this potentially urinary system threatening medicine so someone will
notice? But wouldn't it be completely insulting for someone to say they noticed?
I remember the 10 year. It was a meal that we shared with all the graduates of
all the years and then someone showed up later and said they were having an
invite at their house and to come over. It ended up being a kegger! It amazed me
that some things, and people obviously, never change! I wasn't judgemental, just
amazed that the same stuff was going on in these people's lives when I felt like
I had been through three or four lifetime since we graduated high school. I was
especially anticipating seeing a friend that had been my extension to the real
world. He was reliable, giving, introspective, and even though he wanted
desperately to have sex with me, he never pushed the issue. He had been such a
good friend and I wanted to meet his wife and see what had gone on in his life.
It was terrible. His wife was this incredibly insecure woman who was insulting
and rude to all the people there. Several of us attempted conversation with her,
but it's hard to be kind to a mean kitty. At one time in the evening, I quietly
asked him if she was shy. She heard the question from 15 feet away and shouted
across the room, "I'm not shy. Just no need to be all loud and mouthy." The room
went completely silent and all the people left and went outside. It was
obviously embarrassing to him and he winked at me (with my mouth hanging open)
and went over to her. I was sad that I didn't have the opportunity to thank him
for his friendship and how much it meant to me at the time. A few months later I
was traveling through the area and delivered a baby gift to some friends. I saw
his truck in the parking lot and wrote him a quick note of gratitude and
expressed my desire for his and his wife's happiness. I dropped it in the open
window of his Chevy Truck and headed for a quick drive through McD's (starving
children and mama). As I was waiting in the drive-through line, I heard a truck
honk. He drove by, waved the peace sign to me (still his motto), and threw me a
smile. It was a happy ending.

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Rae at 07:14 PM | Comments (1)
» hold em links with: hold em

I sent this letter to

I sent this letter to some good friends of ours back
home. Hindsight is 20/20 and I wanted them to know it. You are familiar with the
saying, "You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone?" Well we had our first
meet (a dual) on Saturday. After five weeks of swimming, the first meet...it has
been hard to keep our children motivated. Anyway, it was the most disorganized
thing I have ever been to in my life. R took the three older girls in for
warm-ups and I was going to come at noon (we planned on a K trade at that time).
When I arrived, I couldn't believe the chaos. I asked what was going on and E
replied, "Mom, Mr. Geddie isn't running this meet and we sure wish he was!"
There never was a truer statement. There was sometimes 5-10 minutes passing with
no events taking place. They have touch pads so use only 1 stopwatch timer per
lane as back up (understandably), but there are no stroke judges. Never did I
retrospectively appreciate stroke judging so much in my life. A kid really
learns from being DQ'd. My girls were amazed at what was being accepted there!
The saga continues...While they somehow printed Heat Sheets using Hy-Tek, they
didn't print off winning times and places, so we had to pay extra attention to
the heats and places and times to understand where the girls placed. There are
no "Best Time" patches, no heat winner patches, no nothing. We aren't even sure
they will get ribbons for placing. We still have no team suits, no team
t-shirts, no parental support/booster group. The coach drives a school bus to
the away meets because very few parents attend their children's meets. We are
incredulous. Fortunately, we had such an encouraging and positive experience
with L that we have decided to bring it with us. We are trying to get a parent
booster club and a stroke judge class going. Too late for team shirts and suits
this year, but at $270 (for all 3 girls) for June-August, I am sure that next
year we can try to have some of that cost cover those things. The upside is that
we are swimming meters here and with the higher elevation and longer swims, the
children are really building some endurance and developing fantastic lung
capacity. A participated in The Utah Summer Games and swam her strongest, best
executed, fastest swimming yet. She swam with 9 and 10 (and some 11 year olds
who have the perfect swim team birthday ;) ) and placed 6th in 50m Back with a
46.62 (the highest time for all the 9 year olds). She placed 8th in the 50m Free
with a 39.27. Her 50M Breast was a 1:02.43 placing 12th. She was disappointed to
not have received a medal but she knows she swam her best and is happy with
that. E swam some awesome times during the dual on Saturday and placed and won a
few heats, but we don't have definitive times yet. Please feel free to share
this with the other parents and kids and with D and S. We miss them desperately
and want the team and parents there to know that they have knowledgeable coaches
that encourage the kids to reach higher and push themselves and their team to
swim successfully and to walk away from a meet feeling like they did their
absolute best for themselves and their team. Lamar has wonderfully supportive
parents who care about their children's personal fitness and success. The
parents know each other's kids and truly encourage and rejoice with other
parents over those tearful swims and those triumphant swims.

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June 29, 2003

OMG'sh! Can you believe Demi's

OMG'sh! Can you believe
Demi's bod? I read an article on MSN that talked about her eating "in-the-raw."
Eating naked? No, really, she looks so fantastic, but I just can't imagine
eating like that all the time. A cheeseburger that's not made with meat or
cheese? A steak that's made of walnuts, almonds, sunflowers seeds? Cheesecake
not made with cheeses or cream? What? I don't know if I could do it. Right now I
weigh in at 145. I am 5'8 and am supposedly in my right BMI and weight for
height, etc. etc. etc., but I personally feel better when I am about 128 pounds
a size 5/6 (not 8). I don't think I struggle with weight. I like myself thinner,
not skinny! I also feel healthier when I am thinner and more fit. Moving here
has been a struggle and so I quit walking and I stopped really paying attention
to eating as well as I did. I have a fast metabolism, but am over 30 now and
that seems to be affecting everything. We went to Church at Calvary Chapel in
St. George this morning. We saw our good friends, Victor and Griselda. They
invited us over for lunch! Mmmmmmmmmmmm....Carne Asada. It was beef that had
been marinated in Garlic Salt and Lemon and then grilled. I helped her chop and
slice and dice and she taught me how to make her fabulous salsa! It was all so
tasty! I ate so much good food. It was also so very nice to visit with fellow
Christians. We have been attending CC in Cedar City. They preach the Word of
God, but we just don't seem to fit in there. There are no children except ours
and a few others, but none the ages of our children. I really think that they
minister better to couples with no children,those whose children are grown, and
retired people. So, R and I are going to look around to find something that
better suits the place we are in life right now. It is very hard to move away
from a support system like we had back in Missouri. We left so much there. I
know, I know this is a new beginning, bloom where you're planted, blah, blah,
blah. None of those pleasantries take away from the sadness of the heart at the
loss of such kindred spirits. My heart is sometimes so sad. I wonder if we have
made the right decision in moving here. One of my friends asked me if R making
more money was worth everything we gave up. It really ticked me off because we
didn't come here just because of his increase in income. We talked a lot about
this. We knew that it would be very challenging to live in a state dominated by
the LDS religion. But we prayed and know that God lead us here. So, that is my
only comfort at times. I feel so lonely because this church doesn't really
fellowship with each other. It has such opportunities being so small (only about
30). I feel sometimes that we (R and I) are having to "prove" ourselves to the
pastor and his family. I love to help with worship and requested to be able to
help with it back in December. I was told to wait 6 months and see where things
were at that time and then I could help. Well, 6 months has come and gone and
nothing. The one time I did help (Good Friday Service), the pastor was really
uncomfortable with it. I was asked by the worship leader to help. I just don't
understand it. We have lived here for 8 months and haven't been in anyones home
for a meal. We have had several couples over because we love hospitality and
fellowshipping. It makes it so lonely. Blogging is good for me because I have
lost the eloquence of the written word that I once had, so this is truly an
exercise of my mind.

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June 28, 2003

while at my daughters swim

while at my daughters swim meet today, i heard this woman (who was
obviously frustrated with her child and her husband) say to her man "just chill
out, k?" he took it rather well, i thought. but this made me think: is more
accpetable for women to be rude to men than it is for men to be rude to women? i
personally think that men and women should do their best to be respectful to
each other (yes, there are situations when one must be, well, forceful) but not
rude. i saw a Winston ciggy ad in Newsweek: in caps "HOSTILE TAKEOVER" picture:
a beach with a guy being held down by a girl. is it saying that guys are
atrracted to sexually aggressive women? what if the girl were being held down by
the guy? i think it would be highly offensive to women, but it is now seemingly
o.k. to turn tables and make women the aggressors? i am not sure... also, have
noticed that more and more father figures are being made to look like they are
completely out of the loop and big dorks. don't get me wrong here, i have paid
some people good money to help me ponder why i don't like "authority" figures
(now i have settled for a "healthy questioning" of one man having all the power,
notice I said man, which God is not one), but why is it o.k. now to make men
look like such idiots? there would be such an uproar if women were portrayed
that way now. i like it when anyone holds the door open for me. i like having
heavy furniture moved by men. i like car maintenance being done by my husband
(definitely a man), i like having my man (mm here on out for him) to do all the
household fixing. my issue is with creepy men. men who lere. men who l catch
looking at my little girls. men who think they are complimenting me but are
making me sick. men who look at my boobs ...repeatedly. men who are obviously
married, but are flirting with me while their wife isn't present. men who flirt
with me while their wife is right there. YUCK! all men aren't dogs, but some
are. all women aren't hags, but some are.

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o.k. have checked back numerous

o.k. have checked back numerous times and am
such a newby at this, so will learn patience, i guess? what is HTML? i feel like
i am in malta, don't speak the language and am about to make a huge puddle on
the floor- where's the bathroom? (breathe), ahem. o.k. learning processes are
good? right? right? i keep trying to edit my links, want to change the font and
color, and want to upgrade. this is like when i had a new baby and couldn't
decide whether to brush my teeth or shower, or eat that day..... am going away
to come back with possible new perspective ( and definitely more coffee)

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how in the world do

how in the
world do i start this thing? i first found about blogs in 2000 when i met
someone in a barnes & noble (scroll down to Monday, June 26) that admired my
precious little bug. the conversation was quite enjoyable and the woman told me
about a blog that her husband had started. i looked it up and decided it was way
cool! i checked back often and found some really interesting trivial info and
some powerful links. just too ignornant of the whole computer realm to delve
into it. fast foward to 2003, a little more informed and, ta-da, here i am. i
figure it is much cheaper than therapy. i love reading about other people's
lives, either makes me feel more or less dysfunctional, so i thought that maybe
someone out there is similar :) a little about me: am 33 y/o, married for 12 1/2
years, have four daughters, home-educate, live in the west (but am a
midwesterner at heart),am a half fundamental, half orthodox Christian. the rest
will have to be revealed as i blog.

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