A Likely Story: Home Improvements Archives

Housekeeping

Pam reworked the lovely banner she gifted me with for my birthday earlier this year, and the Court Geek, Jeremy, geek-tweeked a few things for me, too (though not without a bit of smirking about my choice of an Apple iBook).

Thanks so much :D

I added more blogs to the roll and put some things back in order around the place.

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Rae at 04:28 AM | Comments (11) | Home Improvements

Handy with A Dustcloth

I have been cleaning blog ALL DAY long!

I went into Haloscan and retrieved comments that I packed and saved but never set-up once I got moved to MuNu.

Then I found several old spam comments and decided to clean out all the corners (delete them).

ALL DAY!

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Rae at 05:20 PM | Comments (2) | Home Improvements

Accessories

Those interesting icons in the window when you go to someone's site....yeah, well, I would like to have one of those. I'd obviously choose the pink zinnia.

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Rae at 08:58 AM | Comments (4) | Home Improvements

Pretty in Pink

Alisha has a very new do. Go see. And I think we all know how I feel about pink. Awww, she's in love thanks to Moxie. :D

Man, I just keep looking at it, like a dress in a shop. It makes me want a new template.....Jeff? Mr. Bartender? Where art thou?

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Rae at 12:22 PM | Comments (1) | Home Improvements
» Pink Slip Central links with: Love love love my new digs!

Fear and Loathing in.....Los Angeles

The Hyatt West Hollywood (seven over and six up should show exactly my balcony). An upgrade (unsolicited) to a balcony view of the strip. Interesting....

The driver had a blues station playing ("PYT," "What's Goin' On" and "Forget-Me-Nots" were recognized tunes). It was funny to see supermarkets named "Ralphs" and to also see within two blocks a Hebrew school ("free to kids in public school" and actually a Hasidic Jew boarded in St. G [how weird and unusual in this region]) and the Bahai Community (made me think of my college roommate E) meeting place. I saw more psychics and Persian rugs than I thought possible in a three mile strip.

Am now tired and heading to bed. I filled out my breakfast room service request and will awaken early to prepare to discuss why choosing to sacrifice 20 years to rear children is more beneficial than sacrificing children for 20 years to have a career.

I covet your prayers and positive thoughts.

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Rae at 10:29 PM | Comments (8) | Home Improvements

And she's off

So, a few details to attend, and I am off. Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts, and for those that are believing, praying people, ahem, please do so for me. :D

If the hotel has a computer, I will attempt to post something, if not, it can be assured that the experience will be captured and published here when I return.

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Rae at 08:24 AM | Comments (6) | Home Improvements

Re-do

The new banner is a generous birthday gift from Pam.

Thank you verra* much, Pam. I am truly delighted :D

A Summer Wedding

My terrific baby brother, whom I love and am proud to be associated with, is getting married to a wonderful, pretty, smart, kind woman.

I am so happy for you. The ring is just gorgeous, too :D [It might look small in the picture, but it most definitely isn't small].

P.S. "Ann," you know who to call when you need to understand your mother-in-law, right?

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Scandalous choice of ring - wondrous. Now what would you know about Ann's Mother-in-Law ;-D

by chrys on January 27, 2005 02:04 AM

thank you sis! we are in the process of reserving a chapel. it will be in eureka springs, ark on june 25th, mother in law's b-day, in Thorncrown Chapel. you can check it out on-line at www.thorncrown.com. we have it from 7:00 to 8:30 and sunset is at 8:30 so it will be really nice. love you

by nick on January 27, 2005 11:59 AM

thanks too sister!! im so excited, the place is awesome (especially at sundown!). yes, i will defintely call you when in desperate need! mother-in-law will love this as her 'birthday present! i cant wait to see all the girls!

by Ann on January 27, 2005 10:17 PM

Nick and "Ann"- R was really happy with the date as he as an opportunity to do some white water rafting with the company in June. He missed out on a few adventures last year because of visitors or traveling, so he was reallllllly hoping your wedding date choice wouldn't fall on one of those weekends.

I think that mom and I went there once when we had traveled with the church to see the Passion Play. It looks and seems very familiar.

How did you come to choose it?

P.S. Sorry about not posting the ring on your hand, "Ann." It would shwo me the html code for the picture for some reason, but would for the one of the ring only.

by Rae on January 28, 2005 11:22 AM

Rae-we're glad that R can go sporting with his work! the date seemed to work out great for everyone! we chose the place, well we decided to give them a call and see if they even had any openings. this place fills up fast. we got the last spot open in june, unless we wanted the wedding at 8 o'clock in the morning!! i think not! yes, mom-in-law said that she has been there also. we both wanted to get hitched in a 'cool' place that wasnot a boring church, this worked out perfect! its okay bout the other ring picture! it made my fingers look fat anyway!! cant wait to see you guys!!

by Ann on February 1, 2005 01:19 PM

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Rae at 01:31 AM | Comments (5) | Home Improvements

How does Holland manage?

My nose has super powers. I can smell anything from any distance. The hormones of pregnancy and the rigors of motherhood have only strengthened it's prowess.

So, when I say something smells funny, my family typically takes note. Well, guess what? This time my nose detected that funky old basement smell- musty and slightly damp.

E noticed that one of the Columbia-click boards was higher than the other. R went over to investigate as foundational and large structure home maintenance are the duties he claims.

For some reason, I thought living in the desert would free us from the "water in the basement" concern. However, due to the most recent rainfall in our area, I guess not.

As R was walking upstairs he said quietly, well I thought I was going to sleep tonight.

If it isn't one thing it is another. This time, I choose to look at the fact that all of our children are sleeping quietly and in health in their own beds. I choose to recall that my tummy had a delicious meal this afternoon and will have three more tomorrow. That I can drive myself anywhere I wish, vote for whom I choose, wear what I desire, and support or disagree with whomever I want. So, a little water is getting in somewhere....we have one another, our consciences, and our liberty. And good home insurance, too.

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Rae at 11:03 PM | Comments (6) | Home Improvements

Stay-At-Home Mom (my foot)

"The ordinary arts we practice everyday at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. " Thomas Moore

I quite like this quote.

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Rae at 12:22 PM | Comments (10) | Home Improvements

Resolution

Even as I typed my goodbye, I wasn't sure that I could completely quit. I think writing is my anti-depressant. It helps me work through many thoughts and things that might otherwise suffocate my spirit. With some input from my family, I have decided to schedule my blogging and use the old fashioned paper and mechanical pencil to collect and keep my thoughts inbetween typing. So, while the posting might not be as frequent, it will continue. Thanks to all who encouraged me in my decision making process.

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Rae at 04:56 PM | Comments (14) | Home Improvements

Other Election News

WoW! Someone nominated my post Kerrized France for this week's vote!

Thank you so much! There is some fab reading over there, so read all the submissions :D

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Rae at 11:47 AM | Comments (5) | Home Improvements

PE

Three days a week I walk three miles with my neighbor. On the other days, we do Firm videos. We lift weights everyday (thanks to R for writing a program for me). My high cholestrol (258 total) motivated me to be more consistent in exercise (it's completely genetic), but I confess that I have other motivating factors, as well.

Conspiracy theories aren't my game and I don't believe that terrorists will overtake this country. I do think that by removing the modern conveniences to which we have become so accustomed they can create a choatic environment that would cause neighbor to rise against neighbor in the quest for survival. I don't think about this every hour of everyday, but it does cross my mind on occasion and I want to be fit enough to have to walk ten or twenty miles should it be required; to carry gear; my four year-old.

Aside from being physically prepared for anything that comes our way, R and I want to exemplify physical activity in front of our children. We want it to be seen as fun and beneficial. By having our girls swim three days a week, we want for them in their adult life to be uncomfortable in their conscience when they haven't exercised. We want them to feel a sense of personal obligation to stay fit.

So, as I push through the discomfort of another set of crunches, curls, and another half mile I have not only myself in mind, although I ultimately benefit and who doesn't want a more shapely body?

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Rae at 07:44 PM | Comments (4) | Home Improvements
» Who Tends the Fires links with: All of your "News" are belong to us!

A (Non)Commerical Break

We interupt the current blog snow to bring you this important message:

"At the risk of losing hits, the author wishes us to inform you that she has realized the finality of summer is upon her and has curled up with a book; is blowing bubbles with K; celebrating her oldest becoming a teenager (*sniff-sniff*); cuddling with C on the top bunk in the mornings; talking with A on the deck after dinner; going for walks with R in the evenings and then lying on the porch star-gazing and planning together. So, she is on temporary hiatus as she seizes the day and spends a bit more time with those she loves and those that love her. She plans to return to her regularly scheduled blogging next week."

Thank you and we now return you to the same stale blog snow.

(Now get outside; make a phone call; write a letter with pen and ink; visit a relative; do nothing; read a book; but for goodness sake! get off the computer! Carpe diem!)

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Rae at 09:58 AM | Comments (7) | Home Improvements

No thank you to the Twinkies

My third day with no coffee. Why? Well, in the last six years it seems my normally low blood pressure has gone into the high-normal range. And my cholesterol. It's 258. I am 5'8 1/2 and weigh 140. So, it isn't obesity or being overweight that is causing the high cholesterol and blood pressure.

My mother redefined time for herself a long time ago. The other day she commented that "we have always been able to talk." I stiffled a chortle and my silence propelled her on to other conversation. I love my mother and long ago forgave her, but in choosing to forgive, I also chose never to forget; thus not allowing myself to rewrite my own history.

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Rae at 11:18 AM | Comments (2) | Home Improvements
» The LLama Butchers links with: YIKES! A woman of courage at last!

Their mother, their mother, Alas they haven't another

When I am angry, I want to know why. I want to understand, to analyze, to dissect, take apart. I have an intense need to figure it out and then fix or adjust. I know this comes from the home in which I grew up. We were terrific pretenders: let's go to this person's house and laugh and be entertaining and make them all believe we are one happy family. We ignored anything and everything that might cause self-examination. That would be too much effort and cause too much pain. Better just to go to school everyday and lead the teachers to believe that your evening had gone perfectly: you arrived home to a snack and a parent; you played in safety with the neighborhood children until your mother or father called you in to dinner; you ate together and chatted away the whole meal. Afterwards you helped your mother clear the dishes and then your dad sat down and helped you with your homework. A few television shows shared together and lovingly tucked into bed with prayers and wishes for good sleeping completed your evening. Yeah, make 'em think that 'cause it's way harder to hear the truth: you arrive home to no snack or parent. The bus ride was hell because the boys in the back wouldn't stop teasing you with vulgar things they said or worse, demonstrated. You wander over to a neighbor's home to play and maybe see if they might have some food. You play outside hoping that your mom will come home soon because your mother's live-in has arrived there first and he'll just find some reason to kick you, pull your hair, or otherwise blame you for some calamity in the house.

Alas, you recall that it is actually your mother's night for attending classes at the university. So, as the sun sets and no offers for dinner have come in, you head home. There you are served a can of Spaghettio's that Live-In has spit in (in front of you, grinning while mixing it in; however, giving a reaction would then further his delight and also give fuel for another demonstration of his awesome backhand, so you just stare with feigned obliviousness-remember, acting is rewarded in this home), a glass of half skim milk and half water, and dry toast. You are sent to your room to eat alone. Your room consists of a pallet you have made for yourself in the study of Live-In. You decide to chance it and sit on the couch that is kept in there, as the floor is carpeted and full of fleas. They, too, are hungry after your day's absence and it is easier to sit on the sofa in a few minutes peace. But each time you hear Live-In come down the hall, you must quickly remove yourself for fear of his wrath. You once had a room, but the puppies now have it. It is a room full of fecal matter and chewed up pieces of books and other items that were once your possessions. After your dinner, you are told to go to bed, although it is only 7 p.m. You have learned that it is better to acquiesce, so you remove only your shoes and tuck you jeans into your socks (this keeps the fleas at bay), arrange your quilts, covering your head for maximum protection from the vermin, and lie awake waiting for the return of your mother. She is the only possible way out of this. Every night you listen to her laugh and know that she will never leave him.

Before stereotyping my "family," or assuming that we were economically poor, know that Live-In was an anethesiologist with a bachelor degree in Pharmacology: yes, a registerd Pharmacist and a doctor. There was money in the bank, but the hearts were overdrawn. We lived in splendor while our spirits were emaciated. We drove BMW's and lived in one of the wealthiest sections of OKC (yes, such a section of town exists), but our souls were impoverished.

This is what fuels my desire to know myself. I can't stand pretension and am always immediately suspicious of it. I cannot face my God and Maker guilty of not knowing my children and myself. If I should go there and not, then let me be condemned. I deserve it. So, when I was angry this evening, I tubbed and thought. Water always relaxes me and thus draws forth a more organized thought from my body when it is wrangled with confusion and tension. Today was just a terrible day. Early on in the day, I realized something that was not and it was good for me, but I felt the fool and that inspires no one to feelings of adequacy. At about 2:25, A brought to my attention that the animals had an appointment to have their rabies shots. After 20 minutes of phone calls discussing cost, I finally headed upstairs to collect the cats to kennel them. I found the children attempting to lure Sam (my Blue Mackerel Tabby) into their arms. He smells treachery (and intentions of kenneling and vet trips) from a mile away. I had to sweet talk him into my arms only to turn traitor and shove him, back paws first, into the wretched carrier. After having their yearly requirement met, luring them back into said fear (and claw) inducing structure, quickly drove them home only to gather swim team items, piano books and head immediately back out the door. Dropped children at piano group lessons, ran downtown to sign up for soccer, then headed over to the vet's office to pay him (forgot checkbook earlier), then back to piano (which was, by then, over) loaded children and drove over to pool only to learn no swim team today. Took children home to drop off 3/4 of them, retrieve more checks, and go to pharmacy to pick up a script for C's allergies only to have insurance deny and then claim that they don't cover anything for allergies. Drove home angry to find a husband and four children hungry and looking at me like they are disabled. So, after a quick sweep and some instructions, I began to reheat leftovers as it is now almost 8 o'clock. Then, from a very profitable discussion had between her father and herself this weekend, came forth a list of ways that I need to improve in my helping A be a better person. Then, R tired from work and having no energy left for a discussion of the ADF versus the ACLU (which morphed into a thought of did our forefathers establish this country on Judeo-Christian values or rather the Ancient Greek form of a democratic Republic?), cleaned the kitchen (thank you from me and A) and headed out to the local mom and pop killer to purchase needed items to put in the boxes he was sending to Maj. Bellon and his Marines (generously funded by our church members), so much needed adult conversation was cut short.

After putting those who required my assistance to bed, I filled the tub high and sank down deep. To think. I let the water cover my ears and left only my face out. I could feel the displacement of the water by my body occasionally swish ever so slightly against my cheek. I could hear the strange sounds, distorted by the water, of the older girls talking downstairs. I rewound the events of the day. Then I realized what it was. I want always to be a wonderful wife- one that R truly delights in. I want always to be a good mother, one who talks with her children, helping them to know themselves and to love God and understand how much He loves them. I hate it when I have somehow not measured up. I know that none had the motive of making me feel like I wasn't just the best they could have or desire, but when I am told that improvement is needed, I feel myself begin to fall. In my head, I slip back to being ten years old again. Where in the midst of the biting fleas, I determined to be the best wife and mom in the world. I promised myself that I would be perfect and that my family would never be wanting due to me. That ten-year-old had the best intentions, as does this 34-year-old. But the 34-year-old is held to a higher accountability. She must understand that no one will be perfect, but she can be humble and teachable and honest in her examination of herself and others and through that can be the best for her husband and her children and herself.

« Hide the rest of Their mother, their mother, Alas they haven't another

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I am sure, that if some grumbling was going on, it was probably hungry stomachs (and tired bodies) that were doing most of the talking. You are absolutely adored by your family.

You are a wonderful mother and wife, and a fantastic friend to say the least. It is so amazing to see how God has used your horrible childhood to shape you into this incredible woman who can see things that the rest of us miss. Because of your intuition, which was developed regretably through your trials, you bless those that you come in contact with. You are able to point out the landscape of a beautiful sunset over the ocean to those of us who get caught up on the uncomfortable sensation of the scratchy sand between our toes. You can see wolves in sheep's clothing and have protected many innocents from potential tragedies. You have compassion and sympathy for your children and consequently have captured their hearts.

Take courage my friend, and do not let the arrows of the enemy bring your spirit down. You are busy doing Kingdom work. Press on!

by kujo on May 26, 2004 09:01 AM

I know what you mean. I want to be a better dad, loving and fun and affectionately gruff.

And sometimes I yell at them too much. I think it's the old Army influence, trying to instill 20-year-old levels of discipline onto a 2-year-old.

But there is no "perfect". There is only constant effort, constant introspection/critique to try to spot and correct mistakes, and more effort.

And a willingness to forgive yourself, and to make up for shortfalls in perfection with extra hugs and displays of affection.

Because the biggest factor in my failures is always pressure...and what is "trying to be perfect" but more pressure on an already-overtaxed psyche? I'm glad you had the bath to relax and contemplate. I have guitar. I'll have to try your way sometime...

by Nathan on May 26, 2004 08:49 PM

It's not an everyday occurance to learn something of this magnitude about a friend. The feelings that come to my mind are very difficult for me to put down on paper.

Your story made me thankful for my life's story. My mom also came from an abusive home and she did not continue in her parent's footsteps. Compared to your's, my childhood was a fairy tale. How thankful I am.

June 06, 2005

Housekeeping

March 19, 2005

Handy with A Dustcloth

March 07, 2005

Accessories

March 03, 2005

Pretty in Pink

February 24, 2005

Fear and Loathing in.....Los Angeles

And she's off

February 22, 2005

Re-do

January 27, 2005

A Summer Wedding

January 16, 2005

How does Holland manage?

January 07, 2005

Stay-At-Home Mom (my foot)

December 30, 2004

Resolution

October 28, 2004

Other Election News

August 27, 2004

PE

July 27, 2004

A (Non)Commerical Break

June 24, 2004

No thank you to the Twinkies

May 26, 2004

Their mother, their mother, Alas they haven't another

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