January 31, 2005

And now for something completely different

I confess to having never made home made whipped cream, until tonight.

I was craving a chocolate cake with cream, just like Flaca makes. So, I bought the whipping cream, added the vanilla and sugar, and voile!

Sweet chocolate perfection.

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January 30, 2005


As already reported, I have purchased one case of Thin Mints to be immediately placed in our freezer.

Greg (his daughter, Allie, is involved in Girl Scouts) will gladly take all the cookies you purchase for the staff and members to a local cancer center. Follow the instructions given in the post.

So, if you want some vicarious sugary, chocolaty, tasty, Girl Scout-y, goodness without all the extra calories and fat, head over and purchase a box to donate.

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Somehow, I think that if this were about something else,


American liberal femininists couldn't be kept quiet in their celebration.

H/T: Patrick

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January 29, 2005

To Kill or Not to Kill

My comments on a very interesting post over at Zombyboy's(with a few editorial alterations):

"I am opposed to the death penalty and that sometimes shocks some of my Protestant friends. A phrase I like to repeat when they begin to quote Old Testament (and thus old law- you can't pick and choose which of the several hundred laws to follow and impose and which to dismiss to "culture") to me is "If everyone returned an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, we would all be blind and toothless." That's not to say I don't believe in[sic] defending myself, my family, or my country. I will take up arms, and might have to die by them, in order to protect, but this Christian believes that only God can, in perfect judgment and being perfect righteous, take life.

Now, from a practical standpoint, the death penalty is far more costly than life imprisonment. It does absolutely nothing to reform the criminal. It is simply a punishment, and as I a parent I recognize the need to punish, but to a greater extent to help the child rid themselves of an offending habit or behavior through daily discipline and education. Sometimes I let them reap the natural consequences; other times I intervene. I think that counseling should be required of every public offender, and medications administered if necessary. I realize that the government can't force the inmates to take medication or to be receptive to cognitive therapy, but it can offer it and keep it's own conscience clean by it's honest attempts at reforming and changing criminal mindset and behavior.

Don't ask me "what if someone violently murdered your child/spouse?" I haven't experienced that and God-willing, hope I never will. I do believe that principles determine our actions, and by adhering to them now, I will be as conservative with my own wrath and desire for revenge as I expect others to be. I have read studies that show that the families of those who have been murdered or been the victim of a violent crime, show no more long-term resolution when the criminal has been executed than those whose offender has not been. I hope that I can trust God Himself to administer justice when human government cannot or does not."

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Bankrupt Baby

Million Dollar Baby wasn't worth the $6.50 ticket price.

What began as an engaging story of triumph and overcoming one's socio-economic status, spiraled quickly down to euthanasia. As usual, the priest was shown to be dispassionate, and Frankie's convictions and principles disposable to the tears of a depressed woman. The character of Maggie was one of a fighter, so to see the plot allow her strength disintegrate, and Frankie's lack of will to "train" her mind as he did her body to respond to the punches of life, was deeply disappointing.

As soon as I saw the result of her title fight, I leaned over and whispered to R what the conclusion would be. When my thoughts were confirmed, I knew instantly why Hollywood embraced this film. It fully supports a liberal agenda and dismissive/permissive attitude toward the definition of the value of life.

All that said, Hilary Swank did an outstanding job. She is a gifted actress with a wonderful ability to be absorbed into her character. So, I guess it appropriate that she be nominated for an Oscar. She said in an interview with Time that people frequently ask her when she is going to play a pretty girl role. I confess that I have had that thought, as well.

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January 28, 2005

Tender Heart

Yesterday the gray sky dominated the morning and afternoon. An early morning rain had already quenched this desert's thirst and a light sprinkling continued throughout the day. After school, I loaded the two younger girls into the van to do a few errands.

On our way home, I took Main. I sometimes prefer the color and comfort of the buildings and people rather than the destination speeders of the highway. As we drove along, Performance Today going in the background, C pointed out something in the middle of the road. She thought it to be trash. I recognized the crumpled form of a yellow tabby. Before I even considered the consequences, I uttered a low and sad ooohhhhhhh.

Read more Tender Heart »

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January 27, 2005

A Summer Wedding


My terrific baby brother, whom I love and am proud to be associated with, is getting married to a wonderful, pretty, smart, kind woman.

I am so happy for you. The ring is just gorgeous, too :D [It might look small in the picture, but it most definitely isn't small].

P.S. "Ann," you know who to call when you need to understand your mother-in-law, right?

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January 26, 2005

On my bedside stand (or beside it on the floor)

The Random House Biographical Dictionary
Webster's New World Dictionary
Le Mot Juste- A Dictionary of Classical and Foreign Phrases
The New Well-Tempered Sentence- A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed.
Williams-Sonoma Catlog
February Lucky
February In Style
FebruaryThe Atlantic
Charlotte's Web (Reading to K, but have paused and need to return to Charlotte, Wibur, Templeton [or "Pimpleton" as K sometimes calls him] and the race to save the pig).
A Little Princess (Reading to C, but we paused during Christmas to read other books; so we need to return to Sara Crewe).
The Content of Our Character
Looking for God in Harry Potter
1 travel reading lamp
1 mechanical pencil
1 ink pen
1 highlighter
An old hymnal
My NAS Bible
A Pile of Gantt Charts (thanks to me husband)
"Et Al"- my 3 inch Three-Ring Binder of everything home-education
2 Euro Pillows

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January 24, 2005

Life Means So Much

As has been noticed by any reader of regularity, the relationship between my mother and I while growing up was strained to say the least.

Once in the midst of one of our fights, I asked why she didn't just abort me. She paused. "I could've. All my friends were doing it. But, it was 1970 and it was illegal and I didn't want to break the law."

For the sake of the law, I am here today, living and breathing. For the sake of the law, four beautiful souls have breathed the sweet mountain air, bodysurfed in the amniotic warmth of the Pacific, ridden a bike, watched fireworks while cuddled-up and slapping mosquitoes, comforted one another's tears, eaten a roasted marshmallow, giggled together at night, and known that they were truly loved.

Read more Life Means So Much »

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Rae at 08:48 PM | Comments (10) | A Fine Memory
» TexasBug links with: Life Means So Much - A Personal Side of Roe V Wad
» ProLifeBlogs links with: Life Means so Much - A Personal Side of Roe v Wade
» Absinthe & Cookies (a bit bitter, a bit sweet) links with: From The Heart
» Notes in the Key of Life links with: Are you alive because abortion was illegal?
» Stand Up and Walk links with: A Great Story on Life
» King of Fools links with: Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Roe v. Wade Not Gone Unnoticed

The anniversary of Roe v. Wade hasn't slipped by me without notice. I have been thinking and stewing and writing something that will be ready to share soon.

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The Council has spoken and this past week's winning post is here (mmmm, chocolate- I think?).

The non-council post winner here; community betterment :D

Keeping it honest are all the votes of all those nominated.

My humble entry.

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January 23, 2005

Bless This House

Susban Graham is one of my favorite opera singers. La Belle Epoque calms me like no other CD.

So, imagine my even greater delight that she was one of those who performed for the President's inauguration. Accompanied, of course, by The President's Own, she sang "Bless This House."

Lovely choice by a lovely woman.

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January 22, 2005

Read 'em and Weep

Deb, at Marine Corps Mom, has posted a very touching letter from another mother of a Marine. Read, think, and then thank someone who has lost something for your gain.

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Not many will die for even a righteous man

When in high school I heard the Star Spangled Banner more times than I cared. I played it repeatedly in band, stood at attention for it as a cheerleader, and snapped my gum a few times while I stood on the sidelines. I considered myself a patriotic, young, Republican girl, but I just didn't find myself moved by the national anthem.

Enter R. He was the first man I had known who wasn't in the military simply because it was a way out of a small town or jail. When he told his parents he didn't want to attend college because he wasn't mature enough and that he was opting for the United States Marine Corps instead, they weren't exactly pleased. But, they trusted their son and his knowledge of himself. When his four years were up, he felt ready for the "rigors" of collegiate life. He knew he was ready to study but his love of the Corps and country kept him in the Reserves. After a year of community college, he headed to the University of Missouri. We had enrolled in the same afternoon Spanish class, and thus our introduction. There were weekends that he gave up with me for his committment to the Corps. He would always return with some good stories of training and a few anecdotes of brothers with strange names bestowed on them by their Corps family.

Read more Not many will die for even a righteous man »

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No Way....

So, last evening when the girls and I arrived home from visiting with a neighbor, R teasingly greeted us with, "I know something you don't; it's on the answering machine." E and I exchanged hopeful, knowing looks and raced downstairs.

I had resigned myself to not having received a part in Oliver! and had actually been relieved. It would take so much time out of my already tight schedule, learning lines, and the, ummm, dancing. I was positive my E would get something though, so this call wasn't surprising. When the voice on the line introduced herself as the stage manager of the production and started by congratulating both of us, I was surprised. She continued by telling me that I had been cast as part of an adult ensemble, and E was cast as Bet, " a 13 year-old lass in Fagin's establisment who idolizes Nancy."

I am so excited for E. She dreams of being an actress one day, and I do mean literally dreams of auditions and filming and performing. It seems there hasn't been a play she's auditioned for in which she hasn't landed the lead female role. In this case, it's the only role for which about 35 other young gals tried to get. I only did this because she asked me to, and I recall reading somewhere recently that when your adolescent child invites you into their world, you should accept and enter.

Now, about that ensemble. I do hope it is singing only. The 20 minute dance routine the other night knocked me out for two days. Of course, I can now do the number perfectly, but who cares? Let's just say that I now have a whole lot more respect for dancers.

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January 20, 2005



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History Lesson

Today, we will set aside our final study of the Fall of the Roman Empire, and watch history in the making in the inauguration of President George W. Bush.
Thanks to Pajama Hadin for the photo.

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January 19, 2005

I am currently reading:

The Content of Our Character by Shelby Steele.

Looking for God in Harry Potter by John Granger.

Both books are as diverse as could be in subject matter, but each author asks their reader to think for themselves with information from both sides and to come to the most logical conclusion, not one that we are expected to have by influence of either ethnicity or denominational culture.

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nemo me impune lacessit

Translation of Barbra Boxer's entire line of questioning of Dr. Condoleezza Rice yesterday:

"Who do you think you are? denying your racial heritage and being a conservative Republican and wanting to serve in a white man's White House?"

Uh, yeah, Barbra. It was that obvious. I have never understood why so many black Americans (and I once read of a prominent black actress going to Africa and when asked what her ethnicity was, she replied, "African-American." The African looked at her and said, "No, you are an American with black skin. I'm African." She rethought her word choice.) have imposed the expectation of all blacks having to be a Democrat? If a black American chooses to be conservative in their politics and even (gasp!) call themselves a Republican, they are treated as a traitor to the black community (and by the way, I personally believe in one race- the human race, with varying ethnicities) and have their integrity and intelligence insulted (as was done by Barbra Boxer to Dr. Rice).

La Shawn Barber is a perfect example from the blogosphere. She is intelligent, graceful, strong, well-written and well-read. She is a Christian who has allowed her belief in God to shape her worldview rather than her culture, her peers, or her detractors. I have been reading her since about March of 2004 and have seen her attacked repeatedly for not buying into the "expected politics" of her black peers. She isn't a parrot of a white party. She uses her own mind, logic and rhetoric, influenced only by her faith to express her opinions. She isn't the only one, either.

Juliette of Baldilocks is another example of a conservative black woman. She hasn't "sold out to the Man" and hasn't compromised her integrity. She has proudly served her country in the United States Army, not some conspiritorial institution created to keep black people down. Her experiences and the opportunities she sought while in the military have lent themselves as a seasoning to her profound faith and shaping of her character into outstanding integrity, and service to the people of this country.

So, talk on Barbra Boxer. There are plenty of conservative black people out there who will continue to speak out for their fellow American citizens, promoting and encouraging thoughtful and respectful dialogue that will bring about the excellence of all peoples only at the expense of their own sweat and self-denial for the betterment of themselves and their neighbor, not at the expense of their neighbor.

P.S. Good for you, Dr. Rice. I was so proud that you didn't allow the malicious intent of Senator Boxer's questioning to rattle you, but rather reminded her to keep the dialogue away from false accusations and personal agendas.

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Time is a big deal to me. Not arriving somewhere on time. No. Those that know me well, know that ummm, that isn't very important to me. I am talking about the spectrum of time. More and more I am aware of how little of it I have left with E. There are times that she infuriates me. She can be persistent and so particular, but the detail in her artwork and her literature is amazingly detailed. She can argue and disagree with 100% of what I say, but she will never and has never lied to me. She can procrastinate with the best, but she knows how to have a good time. She is messy and we all know not to send her to find anything for us, but her penmanship is beautifully neat and she knows exactly where all of her things are. She is very private, but the most loyal friend or relative anyone of us could dare hope for.

I love this messy, laid-back, honest, creative girl who knows how to have fun and how to love. While I can't wait for her to be the adult she so wants to be, I just want to somehow freeze the really good moments; the ones that feed us both for a few days, or even weeks. Then hormones fluctuate; I embarrass her; a friend lets her down; she disrespects me; I disrespect her and we start all over again.

So many people compare life to a roller coaster. I prefer the see-saw, or teeter-totter as some are more familiar. Remember how much fun you would have going up and down, tallking as you rose into the air and then sailed down? Sometimes the person who was landing would really push it into the ground and you would get this little lift at the top. Sometimes a real jerk would jump off and let you fall on your back, all the while thinking himself very funny. Or maybe you were wearing a sundress or shorts and got a splinter in the back of your leg or burned your hands on the handles and so let your fingers alight just enough to hold on. Many days we would load up each end with six kids and watch the bend and secretly hope it would crack. The soothing rythmn of your feet swinging and landing, and pushing off again somehow made going back into a classroom or home more bearable.

"Teach us to count the days.
Teach us to make the days count.
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much."
(Chris Rice, Life Means So Much).

I pray that I am not penny-wise and pound foolish in these last years. She is a gift immeasurably valuable and too costly to afford to lose.

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January 18, 2005

A Knight and His "Lady"

Confessions in his comments reveal that a certain Zombyboy has a bit of a crush on one Alyson Hannigan. I had absolutely no idea who she was, but after a google image search, found a very lovely photo of her:

I liked this one best for two reasons: 1)Immodesty is highly over-rated, and 2)I like the sweetness portrayed.

"Boy and Alyson sittin' in a tree...."

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Rae at 02:56 PM | Comments (7) | Knights of the Table
» resurrectionsong links with: Hubba...

My Two Left Feet

Updated: Six blisters and one humbled woman later, we have returned. The director's enthusiam and watching all the college students made it so much so enjoyable, so no matter if the phone rings tomorrow or not, it was fun.

So, E and I got a callback for Oliver!. Tonight, we have to demonstrate that we can pick-up quickly on dance rountines, a "dance element" it is called. The word stressed here is quickly.

Ummmm, yeah. I am sure that watching me attempt to count, keep step, smile and look wonderful* all while singing will at least give them something to point to and say "Don't do that." I am positive, however, I will be watching my daughter on stage sometime in April.

Read more My Two Left Feet »

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January 16, 2005

How does Holland manage?

My nose has super powers. I can smell anything from any distance. The hormones of pregnancy and the rigors of motherhood have only strengthened it's prowess.

So, when I say something smells funny, my family typically takes note. Well, guess what? This time my nose detected that funky old basement smell- musty and slightly damp.

E noticed that one of the Columbia-click boards was higher than the other. R went over to investigate as foundational and large structure home maintenance are the duties he claims.

For some reason, I thought living in the desert would free us from the "water in the basement" concern. However, due to the most recent rainfall in our area, I guess not.

As R was walking upstairs he said quietly, well I thought I was going to sleep tonight.

If it isn't one thing it is another. This time, I choose to look at the fact that all of our children are sleeping quietly and in health in their own beds. I choose to recall that my tummy had a delicious meal this afternoon and will have three more tomorrow. That I can drive myself anywhere I wish, vote for whom I choose, wear what I desire, and support or disagree with whomever I want. So, a little water is getting in somewhere....we have one another, our consciences, and our liberty. And good home insurance, too.

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January 14, 2005

A Little of This and a Bit of That

Create your own :D

For those who have small children, I don't know how you could've avoided reading The Very Hungry Catepillar. Guess what? Eric Carle and his wife founded a Museum of Picture Book Art in Amherst, MA (named after himself, of course).

Ooooh, I think I'm turning Japenese.

Purple is pretty (snaps to Special K).

So feminine and unique.

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Cooperation Makes it Happen: The Iraqi Election

The upcoming Iraqi elections have been the talk of the 'sphere and of NPR, Fox, and every other news organization. I have been listening and thinking.

For a government to be democratic the people must be accurately represented. In the United States, we are represented by number, but I wonder if it would be in the best interest of the Iraqi people to be represented by region according to their branch of Islam. Neither side seems willing to listen or to consider the other as valid. Why not divide up the country, Shi'ites, Sunni's, and Kurds each having their own provinces and given the amount of land according to the number of their population. Then each province could hold a representative election and presidential election placing in office whom they respect, will listen to, and follow. I just have this feeling that the way it is set up now isn't truly representative and will be viewed as a puppet government and thus rendered ineffective and disrespected by the majority of the Iraqi people.

I will gladly welcome, read, and consider any comments on the topic, as well.

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January 13, 2005

Pass the Thermometer

Updated: After more rest, I think R and I figured out that it is due to something other than a virus. My neighbor and I haven't been walking or lifting the last eight weeks and just started again on Monday (indoor track at the college). To maintain, I simply kept my caloric intake low (about 1000 calories a day). Well, I forgot to increase that due to increased output. So, a few crunchy tacos and I was feeling better. I even went with E to her tryout and ventured into the closed auditions myself. I got the compliment of my life when E finished her audition and was told "You have a lot of your mother in you." :D So, am on the mend, it isn't a virus, and I plan on walking tomorrow and having an eggwhite omlet as well as other nutrionally healthy meals and snacks. Thanks for the good thoughts :).

At about 10 this morning, I felt like my ears were going to explode and my head was going to cave into itself.

Read more Pass the Thermometer »

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Light the Fire

My preference for indie and foreign films has been made quite obvious, so, no need to go into all that. My newest recommendation: Smoke Signals.

Victor learns to reach through his indurate heart and internalize how much his father loved his son despite his personal demons and failings as a parent. The journey is poignantly told through the Native American oral tradition of story-telling and with such subtle comicality that the viewer finds reconciliation as the only answer for Victor, and maybe for the viewer, as well.

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January 12, 2005


Jo and her husband had a healthy baby yesterday. Congratulations. We love you guys.

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Wow! 697 Comments. Thanks to everyone who took a minute to comment and a double thanks to those who also posted a link.

Greg thanks you, and so do all the low-income women who will now be able to get a mamogram.

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January 11, 2005

Comment Fun(draising)

Greg of California Hammonds is sponsoring a comment fundraiser TODAY with funds raised going toward the National Breast Cancer Foundation’s programs for education and low-cost or free mammograms for low-income women.

Please remember to stop by and with a comment or two or three or four or one hundred- what an easy way to support such a worthy cause.

Rae at 11:58 AM | A Fine Memory
» The Grey Shadow links with: Comment fundraiser
» Six Meat Buffet links with: Help out a good cause
» Argghhh! The Home Of Two Of Jonah's Military Guys.. links with: Don't hang up - hear me out!
» She Who Will Be Obeyed! links with: Busy, busy, busy
» The LLama Butchers links with: Llama Public Service Announcement

Of manners and such

K, after a particularly loud (and unacceptable) belch at the table:

"Mom, sometimes people do things but then afterwards they say what they need to, O.K.?"

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January 09, 2005

Carbohydrates are my friend

Mmmmmm, loaded potatoes. Now, I love rib-eye or prime rib as much as the next person, but you just can't beat a gigantic Idaho twice-baked or skinned potato.

Dinner was delicious. Thank you, R.

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Jennifer says this is the year. Get cleaned-up, guys!

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January 08, 2005

Never Again

Updated: Texasbug and I are on the same page (literally).

In 2001, we had just moved into one our most favorite homes. One of my friends had offered to come by with a house-warming present of Coconut Cream Pie. I obliged her. We feed the children "fun foods" and afterward, while they played dress-up, we enjoyed our own lunch of loaded baked potatoes. Between bites of potato swimming in butter and bejeweled with chives and bacon bits and sips of sweet iced-tea, we caught up. After the local news, she mentioned how she hadn't been able to sleep since hearing of that woman in Texas who drowned all of her children. My eyes widened. Believe it or not, we don't pay for television and rarely watch it. The USA Today hadn't been delivered and the NPR station I listened to broadcast ATC earlier in the morning than I rose. I was in the dark. As she filled me in on the details, I became physically sick. I excused myself and went into the bathroom and alternately wept and wretched. After about fifteen minutes, I returned to the table. The conversation never did return to pleasantries, though it wasn't from lack of trying.

Read more Never Again »

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Lone Ranger and Tonto

"Kelli with an I" celebrated a birthday this week. I want to share a song with you, my friend:

I've been picked up when I was low
And I never have been left alone
I know it's true
Thanks to you
I have had my burdens shared
There've been valleys
That I have been carried through
Thanks to you
So I won't let another moment slip away
Right here, right now
I've got to stop and say

Thanks to you
I've learned to laugh a little bit harder
Thanks to you
I never cry alone
Thanks to you
I know what it means to have a friend that's true
Thanks to you

I remember all the walks
And all the crazy things that I got talked into
Thanks to you
And even now I am amzed
When I think of all the ways God's voice came through
Thanks to you

Through all the thick and thin
And places in between
We have been side by side
And that is why you hear me singing

Thanks to you
I've learned to laugh a little bit harder
Thanks to you
I never cry alone
Thanks to you
I know what it means to have a friend that's true
Thanks to you
For never giving up
Thanks to you
For sometimes giving in
Thank you for always listening

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January 07, 2005

Jester of Flaxen

Eleven years ago yesterday, A was born. She was my second daughter and the first child I delievered by natural childbirth. No drugs; no nothin'. It was one of the most empowering experiences I have ever had. It wasn't easy. I recall riding down the elevator with two rent-a-cops. It was obvious I was in labor and their discomfort was unnerving me. When I walked out of the elevator I told myself that if I was a 2, I was getting an epidural. Immediately. After checking in with the nurses and one of them checking me (literally) and telling me that I was an 8, I was relieved and excited. Then transition began and the relief wouldn't come until I delievered that 8 pound 14 1/2 little girl sunny-side-up into the world at 7:29 a.m. R would kiss my temple, damp with the sweat of a woman's work and after cutting the cord of his progeny, place a kiss on her cheeks fat with the nourishment of the only perfect place her mother and father would ever be able to provide her.

Yesterday, at 7:28 in the morning, I crept across the hall to her room and crawled into bed with her. She welcomed me with a sleepy smile and scooted over. I whispered happy birthday through her blonde curly hair into her ear. Too fast, I thought to myself. Then we both fell back to sleep.

There have been many times that I wish I could just slip her into my pocket to keep her from the unkind words of a "friend" or free from the sting of a wasp. Anytime she cries, her forehead and cheeks blotch and the tears draw pink track lines down her heart-shaped face. I sweep her up in my embrace and hug her tight until she calms. But when she laughs, it is contagious and infects every cell of my body with a joy that finds no words to describe it.

She plans on being a vet, marrying a vet, having two children and ten dogs. She will be a stunningly beautiful woman, with a heart big enough to hold the world, brains enough to move it, and strength enough to carry it.

Her heart is so generous, and I am so blessed to have a place in it. I am proud to know her and to know that she is my girl. I love you, baby. Happy Birthday.

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Friday Evening Fun

From the Llamas, who swiped it from JenSpeaks(whom I find I simply must blogroll) and she borrowed it from Fire Ant Gazette: A book meme. Copy the list from the last person in the chain, delete the names of the authors you don't have on your home library shelves and replace them with names of authors you do have. Bold the replacements.
From my shelves:

1. J.K. Rowling
2. Anne Lamott (let this not be an endorsement of her politics).
3. George MacDonald
4. Jane Austen
5. CS Lewis
6. JRR Tolkien
7. Emily Brontë
8. Isak Dinesen
9. Sophie Kinsella
10. William Shakespeare

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Rae at 10:05 PM | Comments (9)
» the cheese stands alone links with: Well, Read
» annika's journal links with: Bookshelf Meme
» Travis' Column: Hot Off the Presses links with: Bookshelf Meme

Stay-At-Home Mom (my foot)

"The ordinary arts we practice everyday at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. " Thomas Moore

I quite like this quote.

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January 05, 2005

Pardon me...


while I stop and smell the roses.

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January 04, 2005

Dancing with the Sun

One of the things that I looked forward to in moving to UT was going to the Sundance Film Festival. So, tomorrow between the hours of 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. MST I am calling to get the info. The possibility of getting to attend this year is really exciting.

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Pattern Recognition

Two songs that I have really noticed the words to today:

Green Eyes (Coldplay)
Blue Eyes (Cary Brothers- his site offers a free song download of the week) .

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January 03, 2005

Me or Them?

Driving home from a bit of retail therapy for us girls, this song came on that I had heard a couple of weeks ago. The girls were quiet and contented, so I turned it up and sang along to the chorus. Previous confession of disinterest in pop music will show just how behind I may be, but I googled the lyrics tonight and found out it is "Daughters" by John Mayer.

My childhood prompted me to greater parenting than I received. The ironic thing is that my mother feels herself to have been a better mother than she had. Yesterday after a "discussion" with E, I realized that she knows no other mothering with which to compare mine. It is the nature of humanity to desire to improve upon what was given. At first I was offended at the thought of her possible desire to parent differently than I have her. I mean, I work hard at this mothering thing. It sometimes kicks my ass and it definitely wears me out, but I know they are getting it better than I had it. And, that is the standard, after all.

Isn't it?

Maybe the mother I chose to be is more a mother to me and what the little girl wanted rather than what my girls need. Am I striving to be the mother that E, A, C, and K need rather than the one I comfort myself with being? I think the real truth of my parenting will bleed through the heart of each girl in the mothering of her own children. Sometimes, I stop in the middle of something with them and think, In twenty years, when I am the grandmother, will I be pleased or pained when I witness my daughters responding like this to their children? And will I be big enough to let the successes be their own and claim their failures as an opportunity to say I am sorry for not modeling better parenting?

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One of my favorite love songs of all time:

Read more Lovely »

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January 01, 2005

Only the Lonely

It is no coincidence that woman are typically more relational than men. In 9 out of 10 couples I know, the woman has more friends than her husband has, and she desires their company more frequently than a guy does that of his. (Wanna argue? Go back at look at the "t" word up there, otherwise, read on or head out).

So, while I have the perfect-for-me-man, intelligent-unperfect-but-maleable children, I really miss having a girlfriend right now. I miss having someone to go get a cup of coffee with at 9 p.m. I miss accessory shopping. I miss heading to the cinema and splitting the $10 Jumbo Popcorn/Soda/Candy special. I miss...I miss...I don't know; I just miss.

And for all you Pollyannas out there, 99% of the time, I appreciate the Glad Game, but this time, count me out.

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Rae at 09:40 PM | Comments (8) | Confessions
» The Nap Room links with: See, I told you so.

Talk at the Barber Shop

La Shawn, one of my favorite Ladies of the 'Sphere, has a question for you.

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Game Set Match

I feel like I have made every attempt to be faithful and supportive of you, my friend.* But I am finding it more and more difficult to do so. No more complaints that I don't make time for you, or call you frequently enough. I have proficiently slammed the ball over the net and into your court over and over and over. It's 40-Love. Either return volley or get out of the game.

Read more Game Set Match »

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Soup anyone?

Pam says really nice things. Thank you, Pam. :D :D

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It's Her Blogiversary

Happy Blogiversary to TulipGirl :)

And for being nominated for a BoB Award, too.

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Top Ten

List making is so limiting. I avoid it whenever possible. For some reason, I feel bound to the list and to deviate means a betrayal of some sort. However, due to Zboy's prompting, I will make a list of movies that I enjoyed this year.

1) Garden State. I have absolutely no idea why this film moves me so deeply, but it does. I have never heard a better matched soundtrack.

2)Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Eliminating the things that you think you can't live with ultimately takes away the person without whom you can't live.

3)Man on Fire. Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning create such a connection on screen that makes this film compelling and completely believable. I wish I had had a Creasy when I was growing-up.

4)Maria Full of Grace. A wrenching and fascinating film.

5)Osama. I think every woman complaining that the United States is opressive be required to view this film. It made my heart hurt.

6)The Bourne Supremacy. The second of three, this film held my full attention the entire time. The further development of Jason's character stuck and didn't seem out of place. My favorite scene is when Bourne is fighting the operative in Germany in whose home he was waiting. The guy has zip ties on and it was such a tense and well-matched fight....I can't wait to see the third installment.

7)Napoleon Dynamite. Stupid films rarely appeal to me, but this one was silly and funny. And any girl would be impressed with a guy building her a cake.

8)Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.. When I read that a new director, the Columbus guy who did Y tu Mamá También was directing, I new that he would lend an artistic interpretation to the screenplay. I am typically a purist, but I really did enjoy the few liberties he took. It produced a more mature, creative film that even my purist offspring found acceptable.

9)Kill Bill, Vol.2 This the ultimate female revenge movie. Cathartic films are sometimes necessary to keep us from doing what shouldn't be done or what doing would undo us.

10)A Series of Unfortunate Events. A small piece in Newsweek last spring announced the film version of Lemony Snicket's smash hit books to the girls and me. We couldn't wait to see the movie and we weren't disappointed. It presented as completely fantastical reality, something all kids already enjoy, but in which more adults should indulge.

My hopes for a year in which you grow stronger, laugh harder, and look longer.

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