December 08, 2004

Urban Legend

Wanna hear a good one?

The latest rumor about moi is that I am a |e$bian (spoken only to a few people, but recall that slander is real). Why am I thought to be a |e$bian? Because I one time told my best friend that her body looked great after having had several children..

The reason this situation would be considered a defamation of character is because I am a Protestant, Conservative Christian (read: homo$exua|ity not acceptable), so for something to be whispered or loudly discussed about me that is not true and unacceptable in my specific culture and thus I could be viewed differently because of said lies, it is defamation of character. Everyday I go into a closet and come right back out exactly the same as I went in- hetero.

Uh-huh. Keep reaching. Look at the three fingers pointing right back at you.

Posted by Rae at December 8, 2004 07:28 PM | TrackBack

I know the feeling. I have an unwanted fan club who started a blog specifically to debunk me, my life and public statements as well as those who lead a similar faith walk. I am not being negatively narcissistic either. I stopped visiting that site over a year ago and every once in a while (ever other week or so) I get emails from strangers saying, "Did you know that so and so is saying ... " and I just write back, "Don't empower those who cannot tolerate what they cannot accept." These people who derive energy from slander, gossip and defamation are what I refer to as Thought Vampires.

Don't let the haters get at you. I don't like Bible thumping so I will leave it at our Lord was also slandered and His response to much of it was silence. I have found that this response does not empower furthering the others agenda and in the end they and they alone are completely responsible for their own words.

As you already know, in Jesus there will be justice either in this life in a work of repentance or in the next through judgement day. I pray that those who come against me unjustly to be forgiven in this life because I truly don't want them to face the consequences of their sins against me in the next. We all will be held to account for each infraction of the law and just as I have obtained His mercy it is my hope that they find His mercy to forgive them for hurting me. My heart hurting now is nothing compared to what they might face at the foot of His throne.

And often I find something in the process that I can work on too. :)

Didn't mean to write so much and I sure hope it doesn't come off preachy. I just know the pain this can cause.

Posted by: Randy at December 8, 2004 08:09 PM

Thanks, Randy. I do hope it will all blow over.

Posted by: Rae at December 9, 2004 09:34 AM

I used to work in a large hotel, and did night audit for a while. I had several male staff member friends, all of whom were married. Of course, rumours started to whirl that I was having an affair with all of them!! After I switched to a day shift, I was having lunch with a bunch of folks, and I decided I'd had enough, so I said something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, that secret affair I'm having with "Joe" that's so secret even we don't know about it." Everyone kinda gasped that I'd called them out for their gossip, but it did defuse the situation and they all moved on to gossip about other people.

Over the years, I've had affairs with married men, I've been a lesbian, I've been having affairs with both men *and* women -- all this according to the coworker gossips, who really should be writing soap operas with the imaginations they have.

Anyway.... I sympathize and I hope it blows over. I've found the best way to deal with malicious gossip is to make a joke out of it. People like that are looking for a reaction, in fact they thrive on it. They can't stand it when you don't take the bait and just roll your eyes at their idiocy.

For what it's worth :)

Posted by: Ith at December 9, 2004 10:12 AM

People keep saying that about me too ;(

Posted by: jeff at December 9, 2004 05:06 PM

Been gone for awhile. Come back to visit and find this. Sad. The truth from this quarter is that one of the reasons I return is to view your pretty picture exuding health and good cheer and to enjoy the positive tone of the posts. Reminds me of my future daughter in law. The issue raised is irrelevant to me, but I am saddened by your having to endure it.

Posted by: boss at December 9, 2004 05:44 PM

I kinda like being part of this club.

I think over 2/3rds of my Cubicle Jungle thinks I'm a homo$exual.
- I don't have a girlfriend (and havn't had one for a long time)
- I don't fratrinize/flirt with the female population
- I don't respond to the fratrinization/flirting of the female population (Or the male population for that matter, but people conveneintly ignore that) and even worse, I reject it when its tried.
- I've lived with 6 other men under one roof, and have for a long time.
- I don't go to the chickie bars, or what not after the office closes.
- In conversations with others, I don't participate in derogatory language; you know, the stuff that construction workers are generalized in saying.
- I practice that tacitly-dead art of chivarly.

Part of the source of the label is that there are a lot of openly gay and |esbian co-workers in my office, so the generalizations are abound.

Funny though, that being so secure in my identity I'm labeled as such.

Another theory I have is that my peers who think this are not-as-secure as I am, so they need to put me in a box, even though its the wrong one.

Posted by: Jeremy at December 9, 2004 09:11 PM

Sounds like my home town motto:
If it's a rumor in ________ then that makes it a FACT!

Posted by: mirramele at December 10, 2004 08:40 PM
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