Because You Asked

Well, well, the requests for me to share my knowledge, views, and love of monkeys are just pouring in from all corners of the globe. Unfortunately, most of them seem to be missing the comment box on the original post as there are only two in there (and neither one seems to have anything to do with monkeys, but I never pass up a chance to mention them).

However, I'm sure that millions of requests are being generated and the "magic" of the internet is not cooperating to deliver them.

So, let's get to the mailbag:

I would like to hear from you about the art of "ranting." Why do people rant? Rant seems to be a buzzword in the blogosphere and some people wear it with pride ... why?

-Randy

That's a very good question, Randy. Did you know that, in England, the word "randy" has a different meaning all its own? I'm not sure Rae would really appreciate you using such language on her blog, so I have to insist that you change your name immediately.

We'll call you "Doug."

So, Doug, why do people rant?

When a left-winger rants, it's generally to charge their argument with so much emotion that no one will notice that it's got holes big enough to push Michael Moore through - and when a right-winger rants, well, pretty much the same reason except that the holes are more suited to a pre-2000 Rush Limbaugh.

When I - more of a libertarian sort - go on a rant, it's because my logic is so thorough and impeccable that I think it needs a little emotional MSG to keep it from seeming too dry. After all, my purpose is to educate, inform, and entertain. I wear many hats. Which, admittedly, makes me look silly when I walk down the street.

Movin' right along:

mr Rant guy,

I was just interested (all bad words aside) your frustrations with the world. I was just curious as to what they are and if they are similar to my own.

- Sally

That's a very good question, Sally. Alas, your name is just a little too close to the title of an Eric Clapton song which might make someone think of "adult activities," leading them to be randy doug. So, a new name for you as well.

How about "Fernando?"

I like it.

So, Fernando, what are my frustrations with the world, you ask? I could give you a rather large list, but then I might do someone or something a disservice and leave them off of it. Can't have that.

Allow me to summarize: stupid people.

Can't stand'em. Too many of'em.

As my grandmother always said* "People so dumb."

There you have it, Doug and Fernando. I hope I've answered your burning questions to your satisfaction. Should you have any others, just leave them in the comments and I'll get to them later today. If you wait until the evening, I'll probably have several beers in me belly and my answers will be even more discombobulated and ridiculous.

What fun!

* And, as always, there is absolutely no evidence that my grandmother actually said that. I use it as a "literary device," which is my right as a writer of thorough and impeccable logic and extreme modesty.

Posted by at December 16, 2004 12:45 PM | TrackBack