December 19, 2004


Just all the white chicks are doing dreads

Hi there, I'm Anne Lamott, author, activist, certifiable moonbat, a Christian who leaves room in her heart to hate George Bush. Maybe my readers remember this gem?

"So much has been stolen from us by Bush. A friend called & I remembered something she'd said reading an article about Hitler's affair with his niece. 'I have had it with Hitler!' Peggy said, throwing the magazine to the floor. And I have had it with Bush."
Or this one:
"John Paul II, for all of his disastrous policies, apologized a few years ago to the Muslim community. He said, in the presence of Muslims, Every single one of the Crusades was a mistake, & I am sorry. Then he went into a Mosque, & kissed the Koran. This sharp spiritual vision takes my breath away."
And it really seems to have worked!

The thing is, as a liberal Marin chick, I searched long & hard before settling on the single most unflattering hairstyle I could find. I think my dreads make me look like Halle Berry.

And white folks' dreads are unique, like something the plumber snaked out of your bath drain, or those spongy globs your cat coughs up. They also demonstrate your solidarity with the dispossessed. You too can have white dreads, it's easy!

  • 1. Don't wash or comb hair for 6 months.

  • 2. To promote matting, go down to beach every morning & flop about in sand like a spawning salmon. Certain beneficial organisms will take up residence in your hair, forming a synergistic follicular ecosystem.

  • 3. Once your dreads start to form crusted stalactites, you can shape them with a chisel or electric sander.
NOTE: For special occasions, you can buy them.

Posted by at December 19, 2004 01:27 PM | TrackBack

You realize she's gonna try this hairstyle now, right?

Posted by: Patrick at December 20, 2004 12:43 AM

Uhhhhhh tempting, but,no.

You really do want this picture changed, huh, Jeff?

P.S. Good piece on MS. Liberal USA, Jeff.

Posted by: Rae at December 20, 2004 06:37 AM

P.P.S. Hey, what did you do to my right eyebrow there? Was that accidental or for added effect?

Posted by: Rae at December 20, 2004 06:40 AM

I was having technical difficulties with Photoshop. So sue me

Posted by: jeff at December 20, 2004 08:55 AM

discovered your blog this morning.

ann althouse has nothing to fear.

will check back next christmas to see if you've improved.

have a great year.

Posted by: dennis at December 20, 2004 10:30 AM

Hey Dennis, Who says anyone is competing with Althouse? She's got her little niche. I just hope she's comfortable being so closely associated with what will soon be the Old New Media: Instapostit, Andrew Sullivan, etc.

Yes, Dennis. Please do come back again next Christmas. Rae would be devastated if she thought that she could not someday win your approval.

Where the heck do these pretentious f***s come from?

Posted by: Patrick at December 20, 2004 10:56 AM

Where the heck do these pretentious f***s come from?

There's a small factory in Newark that produces them.

No, I don't know why.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 20, 2004 02:38 PM

Dennis: Kiss me.

In a year I will have mastered PS. All shall love me & despair!

Posted by: jeff at December 20, 2004 04:15 PM

Jeff- I just thought you were attempting to make me appear to be more like a liberal woman, you know, no eyebrow grooming if I wanted to be taken as a serious left-leaner.

Posted by: Rae at December 21, 2004 05:22 AM

Right. Like the liberal women you see here in the Bay Area who are of a certain age & have very long frizzy gray hair like an electrified Cousin It. If you don't want to dye it, at least wear it short.

Posted by: jeff at December 22, 2004 05:17 PM
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