May 16, 2004

Rose Colored Glasses

As I slowed down to allow the recommended five car lengths between me and the car that pulled out in front of me (even though I was the only automobile on the road and said other car could have allowed me to pass by and then decide to whip out quickly and slow down immediately to fifteen miles under the posted speed limit after I had driven by-where was this person going that demanded instant entry to the two- lane state highway, but as soon as entrance was accomplished, negated the pressing need?), I began to wonder what things I do that annoy other people. I mean there are a few habits in others that I find challenging to tolerate, but what do others over-look in me?

1)Interrupting. It has to be first. I love conversation and when someone is saying something that stimulates a thought in my head, I can barely contain myself, and rarely do. I don't really mind it when I experience it, but while I am energized by conversations that cause such a flow of mental activity, I can see that it is highly annoying.

2)Procrastination. It makes anyone who depends on me absolutely crazy. I do tend to put things off until the very last minute. I have improved in some ways. As I have said before, home educating has been a kind of "outside" disciplinary force for self-improvement. I have always been like this. When I was in high school and college, nary a paper was written ahead of time. Nope, not me. I was burning the midnight oil. But, it worked for me. I did well. My papers received good remarks and grades. I think this bad habit stresses those listmaking personality types. They can't handle not having everything lined up and every "to-do" item neatly crossed out. I am the one item on the list that is upsetting their world because it simply can't be drawn through and marked as "finished." I am working on it.

3)Calling it how I see it. This tends to hurt feelings more that purge anger from aquaintances and friends. I am a very "What You See is What You get" kinda gal and can't handle pretension or Cocker Apaniel submissive-pissing types of people. I am not talking about someone who is genuinely polite and considerate, or quiet and truly humble, or mentally handicapped. I am speaking of the sycophants. People who can't make a decision where to eat or to which shop to go, always wanting for you to decide and then they follow your lead without question or feedback. You know, the person who is constantly mousing around for fear of your dislike or disdain. O.K. I kind of got off topic and began to discuss more of my pet peeve, so, let me think, how is this truly rude of me? I think that I show very little patience with these types. I know it isn't very merciful of me. But God seems to desire me to attain a bit more grace as I keep running into these types of people. My friend Kris (who is my children's godmother, and is affectionately regarded as the real Mrs. Darling) has been very helpful in my improvement in this area. She is diligent to try to consider how her words may affect someone. Kelli has been instrumental, as well. I have unknowingly crossed the line before in our friendship and she, like Kris, has called me on it. That is a true friendship: telling your friend what a jerk she has been and that she needs to knock it off, instead of saying nothing and playing passive/agressive games (see the above description in this number).

4)Thinking I know more than I do. You know, the "Rae-Knows-All" syndrome? Even my mother-in-law, whom I dearly love and has proven herself faithful to me (not just her baby boy) many times over in order to have the "place" to say this to me, has warned me that by thinking that I sometimes know more than the person in charge, I have caused more damage than good. She told me, "Sometimes you have to recognize that maybe they do know more and are doing their best." I am sure that it stems from trust issues from my childhood, but what reasonable 34 year-old woman can hold onto that excuse? I have now spent more years out of my mother's house than I was in, time to shape up and shut up...("but can I just make a tiny suggestion on how it could be improved....")

That was all I could come up with in five miles. I am sure there are far more, but you know, it was much harder to think of myself as an annoying person than I realized. Oh, and hotrod ended up wearing curlers and a hairnet. Once I saw the elderly face look over and sincerely smile, I knew that perhaps she hadn't done it to me on purpose after all.

Posted by Rae at May 16, 2004 11:54 PM

Wow! It's like you're inside my head. I'm guilty of all four, especially the first two. I'll think about that some more and come up with a list called, "Ten Biggest Things I Do That Annoy Other People." Thanks for the idea!

Posted by: La Shawn Barber at May 17, 2004 10:06 AM

You are so funny, La Shawn. That would be a fun meme to send around the blogsphere...can I partner with you in it?

Posted by: Rae at May 17, 2004 10:11 AM

P.S. I have kind of suspected we are kindred spirits from reading your blog...

Posted by: Rae at May 17, 2004 10:12 AM

Don't see no bone stickin' out.

Posted by: R at May 17, 2004 09:11 PM

Ahhh, honey, thanks....and you oughta know ;)

Posted by: Rae at May 17, 2004 09:53 PM

At least if someone pulls out in front of you, you know what he's doing. What gets me are the ones that act like traffic is bathwater--they try to slip in an inch at a time.

Posted by: The Sanity Inspector at May 19, 2004 08:40 PM

lol-"Bath water"

Hey, welcome SI :) I feel so honored to have had you here. Please come again often.

Posted by: Rae at May 19, 2004 08:52 PM

I think that some people cannot stand the idea of having to follow a car, even if that car is going as fast or faster than they want to go.

When I drive to work, along a state highway out in the middle of nowhere, some person always passes me, and then slows down to 5 to 10 miles an hour slower than I was going in the first place.

I think it's a power thing.

Posted by: Beth at May 22, 2004 01:50 PM

You know, Beth, I think you're right.

Posted by: Rae at May 22, 2004 05:21 PM
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