July 19, 2004

Baby Blues

Last night R pulled out the camcorder and we watched videos from when our children were younger. It was fun for them to see themselves distinctly smaller, talking differently, sometimes with less teeth, sometimes with a few new big ones. From birthday parties to riding a bike without training wheels for the first time, to welcoming a new one to the bunch, it was so good to watch their little(er) bodies move; to see the swing of their hair; hear the sound of their little voices as they talked and described things and performed for the camera.

I remember all the little ladies in the grocery store who I would catch gently staring at me as I juggled a baby, a toddler, a pre-schooler and a shopping cart. I would respectfully smile as I saw her slowly making her way over to me. She would tell me what felt like a thousand other ones before her had in that shaking tiny voice of theirs, "They grow up so fast." Lack of sleep would sometimes tip the scale of my response: I would either say something kind and quaint in return or murmur under my breath, "Not fast enough."

She was right and even when I was tired and sarcastic, I knew she was right. And guess what, I don't have that shaking voice yet, but I occasionally see a young woman doing the dance of trying to find where the item for the coupon she painstakingly cut out is, giving the baby the pacifier, shifting the toddler from one hip to the other, telling the preschooler that no-she-may-not-have-Cocoa-Krispies-because-they-aren't-healthy-and-I-don't-care-that-Jenny's-mother-buys-them-for-her, I smile to myself and miss those days. Briefly.

Posted by Rae at July 19, 2004 08:02 PM

I sigh wistfully and know what you mean, kiddo.

Of course, I'm the youngest grandma I know (now that I'm no longer in Oklahoma - heh) so there's that.


Posted by: Emma at July 22, 2004 01:06 AM

So, there really is a time when you actually MISS the days of chaos? Being in the middle of the stage of life that you just described so acurately, I sure appreciate knowing that I will look back on these days fondly. Do you remember a time when a shower was at the top of your birthday wish list? If you ever feel the need to relive those days, come on over!

Posted by: Kadi Prescott at July 22, 2004 02:31 PM

I just realized that you don't even live close to me. So you can always read about the chaos that is my childbearing life, on my blog. www.kadiprescott.blogspot.com It's good for a laugh if nothing else!!!

Posted by: Kadi Prescott at July 22, 2004 02:51 PM

How quickly those moments end. However, as I am about to enter them once more, I am not looking forward to the late nights ( I love my sleep) and feeling like a never ending milk supply.

I am anxious to see my baby's face. What will he look like? Who will he act like? Will he have blue eyes and blonde hair like the rest of my children? That's what I look forward to.

When people make the decision to be DINKs I wonder if they really know what they are missing. Then I think maybe they do.


Posted by: Amy at July 22, 2004 03:20 PM

Kadi- Yea! Finally, your blog addy :) I am going to immediately induct you to the Ladies of the 'Sphere :)[Done and will come by and read later tonight with ice-cream treat in tow]

Yes, there are times when I briefly miss my newborn greedily nuzzling my breast or the smell of their downy heads. I miss the house being so still by 9 p.m. each night that all you can hear their tick-tocking respirations clocking the passing of another day. I miss the little lisps. And naptime. I definitely miss nap time.

But, I really do enjoy having philosophical and theological discussions with my older children now, too. I love that they have the ability now to tell me exactly (though I sometimes don't want to hear it) what is bugging them. I relish helping them gain problem solving skills and sharing a chick flick (appropriately reviewed and selected, of course) and a good book together. I like baking with them and watching them present a meal to their daddy in mock of their future husband. I love seeing the pride in R's eyes as they reach the touch pad of a lane after swimming their fastest time (and also seeing their confidence soar because of his approval). I am enamoured of their coming moral strength and how it weaves itself so wholly into their physical beauty, as well. I am thankful for the accountability they bring to me as my Christian sisters.

I will never regret having born my children. It is at times an exhausting and daunting task, but it seems to be that all the great accomplishments in this life are so. Climbing Everest; participating in the Olympics; going through Boot Camp; getting a degree; raising a family.

It is hard, Kadi, and it is the most tiring thing I have ever done, but so worth it that it brings no regret and there's not much else in life about which I can with wholeheartedly honesty say that.

Posted by: Rae at July 22, 2004 04:29 PM

Amy- I can't wait to meet Little Mr. M#2 myself :)

Posted by: Rae at July 22, 2004 04:32 PM

Congrats on your little miracle, Amy. I am always so happy to hear of another cherub in the making and the excited mother who awaits his/her arrival. In a world with so many unwanted babies, it warms my heart to know that there are other mothers out there who value the gift of life. Peace be with you and your cherub!

Posted by: Kadi Prescott at July 23, 2004 10:08 PM
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