January 01, 2005

Only the Lonely

It is no coincidence that woman are typically more relational than men. In 9 out of 10 couples I know, the woman has more friends than her husband has, and she desires their company more frequently than a guy does that of his. (Wanna argue? Go back at look at the "t" word up there, otherwise, read on or head out).

So, while I have the perfect-for-me-man, intelligent-unperfect-but-maleable children, I really miss having a girlfriend right now. I miss having someone to go get a cup of coffee with at 9 p.m. I miss accessory shopping. I miss heading to the cinema and splitting the $10 Jumbo Popcorn/Soda/Candy special. I miss...I miss...I don't know; I just miss.

And for all you Pollyannas out there, 99% of the time, I appreciate the Glad Game, but this time, count me out.

Posted by Rae at January 1, 2005 09:40 PM

I think GQ had an article on men and friendships recently (was it GQ? I can't recall), exploring why men don't have many strong friendships later in life. Sadly, I don't remember what the reason was. :)

Thankfully, maybe I'm an exception to the rule in that I have formed some very strong friendships with men and women alike during my 20s and now into my early 30s. They may have waxed and waned through the years, but I'll take that over having never had them in my life.

Posted by: andy at January 1, 2005 09:49 PM

Rae: I've seen similar research, and I think you are right. One of the things I talk at length about in my, um, manuscript, is the need for a husband (or partner) to foster and facilitate friendships between his wife and her friends. They are an essential component to female well-being. Probably are to men as well, as Andy implicitly suggests.

P.S. So glad you are still posting.

Posted by: Greg at January 2, 2005 06:59 AM

Greg-My husband has always been very supportive of my friendships with my girlfriends. We are starting our third year here, and the cultural barrier has been very hard to break. Either people are LDS and so eager to prostelyze, or they aren't LDS but are so in love with the mountains they can't understand my, ummm, less enthusiastic view. It's not that I don't appreciate the unique beauty in this area, but I don't desire to spend all weekend long fighting the ice and snow to climb a big hill. Spring and summer, maybe. Risk life and limb? No. Also, I am regretting laughing over the Ag School majors having to take "Rural Sociology." It is a social science all it's own. I think women really desire these friendships, but have decided that most really suck (for lack of a better word) at forming them.

Andy- I think some men are very satisfied with their wife only. Remember, the word typically was used....;)

Posted by: Rae at January 2, 2005 01:08 PM

"I think some men are very satisfied with their wife only."

Yeah, but then to whom do they talk when their wife is driving them batty? :)

Posted by: andy at January 2, 2005 02:41 PM

I thought that was why they invented blogs...?

Posted by: Nathan at January 2, 2005 11:08 PM

Hooooonnnnnoooo, Nathan.

Blogs were invented so that females may store all the verbage that overwhelms their husbands.


Posted by: Rae at January 2, 2005 11:21 PM

I thought that was why they invented blogs...?
For most men-we just go back to work.

Posted by: R at January 5, 2005 07:27 AM

Overtime is the bestfriend i never knew i had.

Posted by: nick at January 6, 2005 01:42 PM
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