January 07, 2005

Jester of Flaxen

Eleven years ago yesterday, A was born. She was my second daughter and the first child I delievered by natural childbirth. No drugs; no nothin'. It was one of the most empowering experiences I have ever had. It wasn't easy. I recall riding down the elevator with two rent-a-cops. It was obvious I was in labor and their discomfort was unnerving me. When I walked out of the elevator I told myself that if I was a 2, I was getting an epidural. Immediately. After checking in with the nurses and one of them checking me (literally) and telling me that I was an 8, I was relieved and excited. Then transition began and the relief wouldn't come until I delievered that 8 pound 14 1/2 little girl sunny-side-up into the world at 7:29 a.m. R would kiss my temple, damp with the sweat of a woman's work and after cutting the cord of his progeny, place a kiss on her cheeks fat with the nourishment of the only perfect place her mother and father would ever be able to provide her.

Yesterday, at 7:28 in the morning, I crept across the hall to her room and crawled into bed with her. She welcomed me with a sleepy smile and scooted over. I whispered happy birthday through her blonde curly hair into her ear. Too fast, I thought to myself. Then we both fell back to sleep.

There have been many times that I wish I could just slip her into my pocket to keep her from the unkind words of a "friend" or free from the sting of a wasp. Anytime she cries, her forehead and cheeks blotch and the tears draw pink track lines down her heart-shaped face. I sweep her up in my embrace and hug her tight until she calms. But when she laughs, it is contagious and infects every cell of my body with a joy that finds no words to describe it.

She plans on being a vet, marrying a vet, having two children and ten dogs. She will be a stunningly beautiful woman, with a heart big enough to hold the world, brains enough to move it, and strength enough to carry it.

Her heart is so generous, and I am so blessed to have a place in it. I am proud to know her and to know that she is my girl. I love you, baby. Happy Birthday.

Posted by Rae at January 7, 2005 11:45 PM

Reading about the depth of love for your girls always brings tears to my eyes. It is so nice to read about how much you cherish them. It makes me anticipate the birth of Ella all the more. It reminds me to look upon my children and appreciate every detail, even the not so pleasant ones :)

Posted by: Kadi at January 8, 2005 09:10 AM

Oh, Kadi. Thank you so very much. It is amazing the love that can be drawn from my sometimes stingy soul by these children. They spur me to greater heights and deeper things of God.

You, too, are a wonderful mother. I am so glad that Ella is on the way for you (and M, too). :D

Posted by: Rae at January 8, 2005 11:56 AM

I hope "A" knows how very much I love her and hope that she lives out all of her dreams and wishes for herself. I can't believe it has been 11 years!!! The time..... How I miss all of you and wish i could be there for all of the family moments. Tell "A" that I will always remember her no matter how old she gets as "Abcadiffles" if that is how its spelled! All my love. HAppy late birthday "A" --Sally

Posted by: Sally at January 9, 2005 02:04 PM

It is true. When A laughs we all do. She laughs with her whole being.

Sorry we didn't get the card sent. There wasn't a stamp in the house.

Posted by: Amy Jo at January 10, 2005 07:13 AM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?