So three weeks later, I am back. There is much that I want to discuss, but simply cannot do so.
Allow me to say that I have learned who my friends are, and who they are not. I think people easily forget the fraility of humanity. The person with whom you are familiar as the author of this blog, Rae, is a persona, that is for the most part completely accurate. However, it is not "me." It is my consciousness made tangible. It is sometimes a record of my comings and goings, but it isn't inherently me. It has been said that I need "recognition" and that people who blog, who tell such personal things about themselves to the world, must be in that category of people who need too much damned attention.
I strived to maintain a respectful level and boundary of privacy for the people in my life whom I love. But when it all comes down to it, you only know about me what I want you to know. This blog isn't me. The thoughts collected here are facets of the complexities of me, but most certainly not the entirety.
There will be some who will wrongly judge because of their own paradigms, convictions, personal experience and varying levels of capacity to empathize or understand. I do my best to generously distribute the benefit of charity in seeking to examine the motives of people. There are; however, some whose intent is obvious self-righteous and malevolent justification.
Posted by Rae at May 12, 2005 07:53 PMI'm deblurking to say I've missed you while you've been gone, Rae, and am looking forward to seeing you write, again. :)
Posted by: Princess Jami at May 12, 2005 10:04 PMPeople blog for the same reason writers have always written; to leave a mark on the world showing that they really did pass through, and to integrate all the flotsam and jetsam of their lives so they can try to make sense of it all, if even for a moment. What good is it to be literate, if one cannot have the freedom to write and speak their mind? Besides, where else can we show everyone all the cool words we've learned?
Posted by: Fayme at May 13, 2005 04:03 AMSo good to see you back. Why we write is less important, I think, than that we write. Words are their own why.
Posted by: 414 at May 13, 2005 05:19 AMRae, I am so glad you're back - I've missed your writing and your voice in my day! Based on this post, it seems that someone has been giving you grief, and that makes me sad and very angry. I admire you for not allowing yourself to be silenced. There are people who come to your blog every day to read what you write. That, by definition, means that your writing has a purpose far beyond simple self-aggrandisement. And hey - the next time you're gonna stay away, give a gal some warning, mmkay? :-)
Posted by: Alisha at May 13, 2005 05:58 AMHope you're OK - - was worried about you! Even though you don't write or visit - I know good people when I "bump" into them - no matter how that "bump" took place. Your "site" looks as though it's looking for the "real" you. We may pretend to know people according to their "blogs" - No one is completely uncovered - no matter what the write or share. Be Healthy - Be Happy - Be Hugged
Posted by: chrys at May 13, 2005 09:21 AMRae, I was very relieved to see your post.
Ditto to the other five comments above.
Posted by: Ralph at May 13, 2005 04:39 PMRae, I'm so happy to see your post! I've been stopping by here, missing you, wondering if you were okay, if I should send an email or if you were simply too busy with Oliver. I agree that blogging represents only the pieces of ourselves we choose to put here. It sounds like someone's given you a hard time: I too have been attacked for what I've written, by people who didn't seem to understand I had limits on what I could reveal publicly. I'm glad that you are back to writing and hope to continue to connect with you. Peace to you and your family.
Posted by: Julie at May 13, 2005 04:50 PMI don't know what the heck you're talking about, why the blog looks like this or where you've been... But none of that matters. Just glad you're back.
People can't seriously think they 'know' a blogger, when we only put forth roughly 5% of who we really are. 'Tis to scoff.
Welcome home.
Posted by: pam at May 13, 2005 05:46 PMI just wanted to say ditto to all the comments here so far. Very nice words.
Best of everything, Rae.
Posted by: Mrs.E at May 13, 2005 06:42 PMHow odd. I was thinkiing of giving you a call this weekend, and here's a post! [HUGS] You've been on my mind.
Posted by: Ith at May 13, 2005 09:27 PMLife is full of surprises. It is true that you will never know who might be by your side when the hard times come. Some are committed and some are not, some may try and some may not.
Posted by: R at May 14, 2005 06:01 AMGlad you're back! You were missed.
Posted by: Carrie K. at May 14, 2005 10:11 PMRae,
I'm happy you are back. I'm a little worried about you, though - you took your picture away and it all looks different.
Hope everything is under control soon - I love your writing - you are very talented.
Posted by: Beth Donovan at May 15, 2005 11:42 PMAs Pam said..."I don't know what the heck you're talking about, why the blog looks like this or where you've been... But none of that matters. Just glad you're back."
Me too.
I'm not foolish enough to believe I "know" a person from their blog...heck, I've learned just this week that a person I've known for THREE YEARS IN REAL LIFE isn't the person I thought they were (and it doesn't mean I love them less)!
I just have those select blogs that I enjoy reading for whatever reason. Glad to see a new post here.
Let me tell you, there's only one thing that fills me full of self-righteous and malevolent justification, and that's self-righteous and malevolent justification.
Posted by: Greg at May 16, 2005 06:17 PMi completely agree with you! blogs reveal next to nothing of the writer. i read your blog daily, sometimes many times a day, and i'm quite sure that your blog reveals very little of who you are. it's good to see that you're back, and it's good to see that you feel the same way about your blog that i feel about mine: "This blog isn't me." You go, girl. mmkay? visit my blog, www.sheilasrout.com and see my friends!
Posted by: Sheila at May 16, 2005 06:34 PMRae,
Hope things are okay. I probably *should* blog and turn it in for my homework, but I have a hard enough time just getting the latter done :-)
Wish I could help, but don't know what to help with, exactly, nor in what form should it come...
jon
Posted by: Jon at May 16, 2005 08:58 PMIs Oliver over? Are you going to do more shows?
Posted by: jeff at May 16, 2005 09:02 PMRae, I have missed reading your daily blogs and enjoy losing myself in your world for a couple of minutes each day. I have felt like I have gotten to know "you" alot better since I have logged on to read your blog. I am truly sorry that people are giving you crap about your blog or whatever. I hope it dosen't discourage you from writting more entries. I do so love them. I love you too. -Sally
Posted by: Sally at May 19, 2005 12:48 AMGlad you're back, Rae. For a while there I thought some talent scout saw your play, and you had left us little people to become a big Hollywood star ! :D
Posted by: Joe at May 19, 2005 01:34 PMWelcome back... :o)
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