September 17, 2005


My girls have always loved nature. One of their first ten words was moon, only they added an "er" to the end to form "mooner." They would reach toward the night sky with round arms, fattened by their mother's milk, and entice the moon with dimples and smiles and eyes blue as the noonday sky, calling to it so intimately and affectionately, "mooner, mooner." On the nights that the moon was full, I would raise the blinds in their room; its brillance bathing their slumber and allowing me to see more clearly the lids of their eyes flutter in sleep. I wondered what dreams filled the minds of my babes so tired out from the simple business of the day.

E is now my height; A to my chin; C following closely; and even baby K stands to my waist, but I still sometimes quietly stand next to their bed at night, when their breathing has slowed and watch them in the moonlight, and wonder what visions are there.

Posted by Rae at September 17, 2005 09:44 PM

What a sweet and beautiful memory!
The moon is quite inticing isn't it? Peaceful and calm and respectful are what I get from its light.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at September 18, 2005 12:30 AM

Rae, I think I remeber one of the girls saying "mooner!" T says it with an s on the end so its always "mommy where does the moons come from?" From God I reply. "Why does he not make it a diffent color?" I guess thats just the color that he liked best for the moon honey. That was the converstation I had with him on the way home from Grandma's. I love how kids mispronounce a word and it still sounds beautiful!

Posted by: Sally at September 19, 2005 12:16 AM

That is a beautiful memory. I think the moon can be very soothing and just peacful.

Rae, the way you talk about your girls is fantastic. I think you must be a wonderful mother; and those girls are blessed. :-)

Posted by: Audrey at September 19, 2005 01:32 AM

Rachel Ann- just what we need at night, eh?

Sally, you should remember, dear. You spent so much of their toddlerhood with us :D

Audrey, I'll let time be the judge of my mothering, but I will say this: these girls mean more to me than anything and I have to go to bed each night knowing that I have done my absolute best for them. It's not perfection (just read through the archives) but it is a determined work, interwoven with apologies when I am wrong and commitment to being better. Your words are encouraging to me, as well as my hope for them. Thank you :D

Posted by: Rae at September 19, 2005 08:12 AM

Such a sweet memory. Thank you for the imagery.

Posted by: Altar Girl at September 19, 2005 06:01 PM

This time of year, the moon's path takes it across all the windows in the bedrooms of our house. Your words remind me not so much of my loss, but of my wife's. FWIW, from what I see here, I agree with Audrey.

P.S. I share the following because of your previous help with fundraising for mammograms at my website. The Breast Cancer Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammograms in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site: The BreastCancer Site. Pass it along to people you know: Funds go to the same charitable foundation that my fundraisers support, and they help get mammograms for people who otherwise could not afford one, many of them mothers of children.

Posted by: Greg at September 21, 2005 07:30 AM
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