December 17, 2004

Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - Roadtrip Entry

Greetings, everyone! Robert the Llama Butcher here. Rae has very, very kindly allowed me to come and play here in her absence. Since this site is generally all about family things, I thought I'd share an episode that occured this week with my six year old daughter.

In a nutshell, she made her first foray into trying to play favorites between the Missus and me, telling my wife that she (the girl) "loved" me more and was more like my side of the family.

I also believe this may have been her last foray into this field, as both of us, the Missus and I, went nuclear on the girl. If there is one thing we will not tolerate, it is any attempt to play family members off against each other in terms of who loves whom how much. I've seen plenty of families where this dynamic has gone unchecked, and it is horrible to behold.

Anyhoo, the Missus laid into the girl in the morning (when the comments were made). Last evening, when I got home, it was my turn. For ordinary, everyday disciplinary infractions, I do a moderate amount of yelling and even, on occassion, foot stamping. But for Very Serious Things, I find that the somber stare and the soft and trouble-but-menacing voice is the thing. Imagine Clint Eastwood's Man-With-No-Name speaking thus:

I never want to hear you say anything like that ever again. Do you understand?

I believe we got through to the girl, as she has been bending over backwards to placate both of us since. And changing her story as to what she actually said originally. Of course, I never believed that she really meant what she said to begin with. It was obvious to me that she'd picked up this idea somewhere (probably at school) and decided to give it a try as a way to needle Mom, needling being one of her favorite hobbies. This kind of experimentation is a perfectly normal part of growing up. But it's critical to maintain bright-line boundaries that do not get crossed. This was definitely a line-crosser, and we responded with a full-tilt parental tag-team body slam. I believe this unified front caught the girl completely by surprise. Like I said, I don't think she'll try this one again.

Posted by Rae at December 17, 2004 10:02 AM
Comments

Good for you and the Missus, Robert. R and I are united in our parenting approach, as well.

And thanks for the universal confession of moderate yelling :)

You know, unfortunately with home schooling we can't point to the kids at school....sigh....they must get it from (shhh) us.

Posted by: Rae at December 17, 2004 03:47 PM
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